Shopping for swimwear…

Yesterday we went to the shops to get Boy child’s hair cut.  Now a few years ago this would have been a major effort involving but not limited to – stress, tears (his and mine), and bribery.  How things have changed.

I decided to look for swimmers for Girl child as the one piece I bought her rubbed badly and we are going to go away to the coast for a few days – guilt due to school starting again soon and having not much at all.  Oh and envy for those who have shown off holiday photos.

So we had a look at swimmers for Girl Child, starting with a rashie to cover her up – she has red hair, blue eyes and a pale complexion so really needs to be protected. But we found somewhere selling a 3 piece set – Rashie, and tankini top and bottoms.  Score! and even better it was on special.

During Girl Child’s  swimming lessons I’d realised that my swimmers were dying I thought I would look for me too. So instead of stress, tears and bribery for the haircut we ended up with stress (mine) and laughter (mine and others) in the swimwear section.

There were 4 piece sets for woman in the same shop – Bikini top, bottoms, board shorts and thongs (aka jandals or flip flops).  Now what I found interesting before even deigning to try on said outfit was the sizing of the footwear. As the size of the swimmers went up so did the thong size.  Which I found quite bizarre.  Surely a tall, athletic woman would have bigger feet than fat, frumpy me? Anyway I digress.

I decided to try on the bikini which was apparently in my size.  However, what occurred looked something like this:

and not in a good way. Yes I felt like a fat, frumpy mother badly channelling one of Hugh Hefner’s former girls (without the blonde hair, carefully shaped eyebrows and vaguely coquettish expression). This one is Kendra Wilkinson apparently. Photo from mydiddle.com.

There is no way I’d consider that bikini top fit so I returned the offending items and went elsewhere.  I did find a tankini in the same size which did fit which only serves to make me remember Bikinis do not fit bodies like mine in anyway that could be considered flattering.

Note to self: get fit before these swimmers die because otherwise the torture that is trying to buy new swimmers will do my head in!!!