Friday, 28 May 2010

Catching up

Thanks to everyone who has sent me kind thoughts while I have a had a cold.  I still have it but today (after a week of feeling not very healthy) I went to the Chemist and now have cough medicine and cold and flu tablets.  Apparently one dose of each and I  sound so much better.  Here’s to not keeping myself up until 3 am coughing tonight!

It does mean that Operation Anniversary has not progressed (aka actually started) but that is okay.  I can deal with that.  Exercise while feeling like crud and coughing is probably not a smart move anyway.

We are discussing the options for Boy Child and High School.  We are considering a few different schools.  I’m really struggling with the whole friendship (on the plus side he has some friends!) versus academic versus hopefully some support versus travel versus no idea what really.  He won’t receive any aide time in High school just as he didn't in Primary school. Would he be better off at a school with a support unit so the teachers and students  are aware of the behaviours?

Has anyone got any advice on this?  How did you choose the high school for your child?  And are you happy with the decision you made?  I’m wondering is the whole hating change thing would make it easier to make a clean break?  He won’t hate us forever would he?

Any help, thoughts, ideas gratefully accepted email me  (my email address is on my about me page up there on the left) if you don’t want to comment publically.

Do you remember that February is / was kind of a sucky month?  I wrote a couple of posts on it but this one is the one that is relevant to this post.

So my friend W and I have been having coffee on a fairly regular basis.  At least once a fortnight.  Along the way her Dad has been diagnosed with Leukaemia.  For a while there it looked as though he wasn't going to have treatment but he has decided to which I think is a relief for W.

Remember the family at school with the child in Girl Child’s class? The one who lost toddler family member and Mum / Grandmother in the space of a week? Well the step father (who also had cancer) has died now as well.  Three deaths in the space of about 4 months.  It’s so very, very sad. So to that family I am sending my thoughts.

I hope they, and everyone else, have a lovely weekend.

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Operation Anniversary

Those who have been reading my blog for a while may remember my post on Lucy’s Giveaway. Unfortunately I didn’t win but that’s okay.
Yesterday I weighed myself and I have my starting weight. So I am giving myself 15 weeks to get my wedding ring on and in the process get fitter and healthier.  Hopefully I will  achieve some of my 101 in 1001 goals as well.
I want to go from this:
image
Not offence to any elephants intended.  You all look great but humans shouldn’t look like elephants.  Or to be more accurate, feel like them.
To something more like this:
image
But in reality the ultimate goal is to be able to wear my wedding ring by our 15th wedding anniversary in September. Getting fit, healthy and slimmer along the way is just the icing on the cake.
Despite Girl Child being home sick all week and now I’m getting sick as well, I think I’m in the right headspace for Operation Anniversary to be good to go.  I may not check in every week but I’ll be working away at it.
Plus I’m linking into to Lucy’s Fat to Fit Blog Hop in the hope I can get some inspiration from everyone else.
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Please join us and give me some support.  I need it!
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Edited to add the McLinky.

Thursday, 20 May 2010

The Seven Deadly Sins Meme

I was tagged by Kakka over at menopausal mumma.

This meme was started by Lori @ Ramblings of a Stay At Home Mum.

Sloth - how do you relax?

Sleep, a nice long bath without interruption and reading. Not all at the same time!

Gluttony - What can't you get enough of, even though it's bad for you?

Most of the time it is chocolate. Or cheese and crackers.  But actually food that someone else has cooked / made is always lovely. 

Greed - What do you get greedy for?

Grown up time with Mr E. I just want some time to be us and relate as husband and wife instead of as parents or business partners.  Some times I think I would sell my soul for it!

Envy - What makes you green?

Lots of things.  These include but are not limited to:

  • Those with extended families who live nearby and care so the children can have a relationship with the aunts, uncles, grandparents,
  • people who know what they want out of life (I’m still clueless), but mostly:
  • People who appear to have it all together!

Lust - What does it for you?

Nice blue eyes – not that cold icy blue. Men who smell nice.  But if we are talking pure animal lust, aka Man I could so do him (sorry to any family members who ever read this), then: Hugh Jackman, Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr (that Iron Man body is nice) ….. I think I should stop there.

Pride - What are you inordinately proud of?

Mr E. for loving us and looking after us. The Children for being such non judgemental and accepting people.

Wrath (Anger) - What makes you cranky?

Injustice, judgemental people, not getting enough sleep, someone eating the last bit of chocolate something without sharing…..all sorts of things.

I need to tag 7 people.  I’m sorry if you have already been tagged or you don’t do memes:

Lisa from A Different Brainspace

Joanie who is Raising an Army

Ratz who posts at What Can I Say!

Mrs P. from A Study in Contradictions

Alliecat in a Beautiful Pea Green Boat

Clarissa from Limpets and Penguins

Melissa who likes to Suger Coat It

Enjoy!

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Friendship

It seems that friends, former friends and a lack of friends seems to be  making life turbulent around in the blogsphere that I inhabit at the moment. 

I am having some of the same issues. I have very few people I would call friend.  I find it really hard to make that leap from acquaintance to friend that others seem to be able to do it much more quickly.  In fact in in the last week or so I have had two people I see fairly regularly refer me to as their friend.  I was quite gob smacked.  I guess it hadn’t even occurred to me to think of them in those terms.  So then I started wondering what do I consider a friend and how it differs (if at all) from other people’s definitions.

Given the people I do consider friends are not doing things I would consider friendly either, I’m really confused.  And note here I’ve actually always had this problem.  And it’s been highlighted by professionals.

My thought is (okay, a psychologist helped)  that if I actually contact people and want to or agree to spend time with them out of the situation in which they fit / belong (or where I think they fit or belong e.g. school mums at school)  then I might actually want them to be my friends.  I may actually consider opening up my lives to these people.  Now for me that’s a very friendly, though extraordinarily scary, gesture.

But then there are times when I wonder why I do it.  I have had friend/s seemingly turn on me for no apparent reason – well it wasn't apparent to me anyway. And it was at a time when I was very vulnerable which they knew and it hurt.  But the thing was they never seem to have acknowledged that there has been a difference in our relationship since that day.  Of the fact that for a good year or so afterward our relationship consisted solely of saying hello when running into each other.

Then there’s the friend who judges.  Your child and their issues, your housekeeping ability (okay lack of it) and their children do exactly the same.  So much so that Boy Child really doesn’t want to associate with the child from that family who is in his class anymore. The same friend who checks on Boy Child’s thumb but doesn’t ask about Girl Child who has missed school for 2 days and you told them in an email she was sick.  Yes,yes I know, I should be grateful that one child was asked about.

I guess I’m wondering why we do this to ourselves?  Do we open ourselves up to others in the hope that the benefits of the friendship will be greater that the risk of hurt, humiliation or whatever if the friendship fails? Is it just human nature to be trusting and open? Just for the record these are two things I am most definitely not.  Yes, I’m weird I know!

So what is friendship to you?  In real life I mean. Virtual friendships are probably different.

I recognise that I’m not always a great friend either.  This is mostly just pondering I guess.

Saturday, 15 May 2010

The Camper

You may be pleased that know that Boy Child really enjoyed camp.  And he ate.  He even tried Pizza! Apparently he ate about half a slice and threw the rest in the food scraps bin while no one was looking. I was very impressed because he was given an English muffin with chicken and cheese on it on a school thing last term and he gave it away because he couldn't even look at it.

I asked him if he liked the pizza and he said yes.  He paused and then said It made me feel like I was going to throw up.  Ummm, okay.  Mate, if it makes you feel like you are going to throw up then you don’t actually like it.  I think that is something we will have to work on.

He did all sorts of exciting things and thankfully slept in a bed instead of under one.   He did get whacked in the thumb on the Gladiator course they did but it’s only sprained and bruised, not broken.

Now for me.  I think I did well while he was gone. On Monday, I did eat 2 snickers bars.  But that was my worst chocolate day.  Regardless, I need to break my chocolate habit. 

I think all the work (and tears –mine) that went into preparing for camp was worthwhile.  It worked out very well.

Friday, 14 May 2010

5,000 question Survey 251 to 300.

Yes I know it’s a long time between posts on this. Tina  from Tina Gray {dot} me started.   Her answers  are here so I figured I better kick myself back into gear.

Here we go:

251. Do you blow your nose in public?
I blow it when it needs to be done. In public, in private, wherever.

252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps?
Hell, No!

253. What is the coolest web site you know of?
No idea... oh wait: Whiningattheworld.blogspot.com

254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie?

Haven’t they already turned most of them into movies?

255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic,
fair minded, generous, helpful

Fair minded

256. Can you eat with chopsticks?
Yes

257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?
Probably not

258. What do you think about school uniforms?
Some are very ...unflattering to say the least.  But it does make life easier for kids getting ready in the morning.

259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?
The Mayans and the Aztecs

260. What would make a great new Crayola color?
Haven’t they used every colour already?

261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art?
To some it might. I think it’s irrelevant

262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration?

Make that Prime Minister and PINK!

263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country?
Don’t know

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
It wasn’t real in the first place.

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child?
Some times

266. Who knows more...you, or your parents?
Me, of course.

267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing?
Any I had talent for. Given I don’t have any musical ability it’s not going to happen.

268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change?
Stress!

269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars?
It depends. Am I paying them or are they paying me?

Seriously... it’s possible but my marriage would probably be over.

270. Are you completely in control of your body?
I hope so.
Are you completely in control of your mind?
Some days yes, some days not so much

271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway?
they are romantic in different ways. One shows planning and expense the other is spur of the moment I saw these and thought of you.

272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do?

Most of the time. Some times I do stump myself.

273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself?
Neither

274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product?
Generally not

275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often?
Good ones!

276. Does fashion matter to you?
Not at all

277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else?
Yes.

278. What do you get in trouble for the most?
Being a smart arse. Okay I don’t get into trouble for it but probably could.

279. Should parents spank their kids?
This one is tough. I don’t believe in smacking. And I agree with the law here that above the shoulders is not allowable

280. What is your worst daily habit?

Not exercising and looking after my body

281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have cancelled?
Depends on the day but after all the reruns I think Seinfeld.

282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt?
Depends on my mood but generally sweet. Go Chocolate!

283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts?
No not really.

284. What do you feel the most guilty about?
Whether I’m screwing my kids up.

285. Do you meditate?

No

286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images?
I think they can be. But I also think some people see visions where they aren’t.

287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way?

Yes. But it doesn’t often work

288. The thief _______ that everyone steals.
What verb would you fill in the blank with?

Hopes. Why? so the thief can normalise the stealing.

289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had?
Seeing my children for the first time.

290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel?

Often
291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it?

A bit of both. I wrote it in my Mother’s Day post.

292. What is one thing you can't do?

Cartwheels. And I have never been able to do them

293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleton_Heston)?

I have enjoyed some of the epic Movies.

294. Are you gentle?

I try to be.

295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable?
When I’m discussing things and can’t seem to articulate my point.

296. Are you trying to find yourself?
Nope. Trying to find my role but not myself.

297. Where are you looking?
For my role: obviously not in the right places because I haven’t; found it yet.

298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings?
Yes.

299. What would make you a stronger person?
Weightlifting! Seriously I don’t know. I have been told I am a strong person but I don’t often believe it.

300. What book would you like to read sometime soon?

Is there a book about how to organise your house and head at the same time?

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Happy 101 Award

Happy_101_Blog_Award

Kellyansapansa passed this award on recently and I need to pass it on. Thanks Kelly! 

So here are the rules:

1.) When you have received this award you must thank the person that awarded you in a new post.  Done!

2.) Name the 10 things that make you happy.

I hope I can repeat things…

  1. My family
  2. Chocolate
  3. Coffee
  4. Sleep
  5. A long uninterrupted bath
  6. Being able to work from home
  7. Chocolate
  8. My family (especially after Mother’s Day)
  9. A good book and time to read it
  10. Boy Child coming home from camp later today!

3.) Pass this award onto 10 other bloggers and inform the winners.

Well lots of bloggers make me happy but I will try to pass this on to people who don’t seem to have received it as yet.  I’m sorry if you don’t do awards I just want to recognise you.

Kakka from Menopausal Mumma

Lulu at Cherry Blossom Adventures

Lulu –with her Unperfect Life

Stacey from Say Something Stacey

Pink Patent Mary Janes

Sarah at Just Me

Mrs P! over at a Study in Contradictions

Tabitha who was Headed in the Right Direction but is now Probably Tabitha

Ashley from L.A. Birdie's Laugh @ Life

Happy Jackie who is More than a Mummy

Enjoy!

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Memories of Mother’s Days…

In Australia today it is Mother’s Day.  We have been subjected to weeks of advertisements for fluffy slippers, pyjamas, totally useless useful appliances and Sam Moran’s (the new Yellow Wiggle) solo album.

I did not receive any of these things. My children had been shopping with Mr E. earlier in the week and then again at the Mother’s Day stall at school.  I gave them the money on Friday to spend at the stall and that reminded me of a time when I was about 10 going shopping with my mum.  I was buying her a present for Mother's day that she had to pay for.  I remember there were a few little things and the lady who served me put the things in a bag so Mum couldn't see them when she paid.  It’s weird the things you remember isn’t it?  All I remember was one part of that present was a floral toiletry bag.

Another memory I have is of my first or second Mother’s Day.  I’m pretty sure it was my first.   Mr E, my mum, Boy Child and I went out to lunch.  We were sitting at a table and nearby was a blonde lady.  Boy Child spent a lot of time looking at her and was very upset when someone got in his line of sight.  It was very funny that he had never seen this woman before and was absolutely fixated on her.

These are the good memories.  There are some not so good ones too.  The first one after Mum died, friends and family seemed to care but the ones after that don’t seem to rate a mention.

Yesterday at the shops I had a moment while buying bread and milk.  I’m not sure what caused it but the whole overwhelming I’m an orphan thing happened.  But the thing is, it isn’t my mum I miss.  It’s the fantasy of the relationship we could have had.   That relationship was like sunlight glancing through trees and just as suddenly it was gone again.

When I think of Mother’s Day with my Mum I remember not so much the memory of shopping I put up there but a different one.  The memory of my Dad ringing and yelling at me at 10am because I hadn’t yet rung my Mum for Mother’s Day. She was apparently ranting and raving and I didn’t love her because I hadn’t called when she had expected me to.  Never mind that we were meeting at 12 for lunch at a restaurant.  I had once again failed as a daughter but this time was because I didn’t call within her timeframe.  It’s sad really. 

I hope that when my kids are older their memories of Mother’s Day will be things like today: Cuddles, pancakes in bed, lunch out and just hanging out together.  Perfect!

I hope all the Mother’s have had a Happy Mother’s Day.  I hope those Mother’s who have lost a child, those people who have lost a mother I hope your day was not totally filled with heartbreak.  For  those with mother’s or children are missing from your lives (whether by accident or design) I hope today was okay for you.  To those who are struggling to have a family I wish you well and hope that you achieve your dreams.

Thank you to my beautiful family for a lovely day.  I love you all!

Saturday, 8 May 2010

The Triple F

Oy, you lot!  Get your minds out of the gutter.  I’m not sure what you lot are thinking but I don’t it’s what I’m about to blog about.

A blog I follow written by Ashley,  LA birdie's laugh @ life, participates in FLASH.FICTION.FRIDAY.  I thought you writers out there might be interested so here’s what Ashley says about it.

FLASH.FICTION.FRIDAY a.k.a THE TRIPLE F!

The first Friday of every month I will post a Flash Fiction topic. What is Flash Fiction? It is a short story written in 1,000 words or less. If you would like to get a better idea of what Flash Fiction is here are a few sites to check out:

http://www.flashfiction.in/

http://www.fictionfactor.com/guests/flashfiction.html

http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/flash.shtml

http://www.flashfictiononline.com/

The theme/topic for this month's flash is inspired by Mother's Day. The topic is:

A conversation between a child and his/her mother.

If you would like to share your Flash Fiction with other birds in the nest email me @ akagaon.labirdie@gmail.com.  (Please keep it PG 13)

I will be posting each story up on THE TRIPLE F page and my favorites on the main page every Friday.

Can't wait to read your stories!

Happy Writing!

When / if I get my motivation back I ‘d love to join in with the Triple F and with the Muse Wars.  If anyone finds my motivation please send it back to me!

Thank you.

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Update on Mother Worry

Thanks to everyone who offered support and suggestions about the whole camp issue.

I have had a few talks with Boy Child to try to get to the heart of the problem. It seems that there were quite a few things about camp that he was / is concerned about. While I knew he had lost lots of confidence, I didn’t realise how much of his ability to ask for assistance and ability work things through that he had lost. 

Anyway,  I have had 2 more discussions with school outlining the issues as Boy Child articulated them to me and it seems as though everything will be okay.  There has been a lot of stress and some tears involved (mostly on my part!) lets hope everything turns out okay.

Oh, the chocolate helped too!

Monday, 3 May 2010

Mother Worry

I’m having some moments at the moment.  I think these are more than just the standard mother worry that I have.  My standard worries consist of a few things but in general “Am I screwing my kids up?” tops  the list.

But it’s not that.  Well not only that. Some days I’m sure if WW III was declared I could probably twist it around so I had a major part in it starting.  But let’s not go into my neuroses here… well at least not in this paragraph!

It’s Boy child.  He has his school camp coming up and doesn’t eat a big variety of food.  Last year we had spoken with the organising teacher about the food thing and were assured that if the food wasn't stuff he would / could bring himself to eat he would have access to sandwiches.  Which was all fine until he was asked was he okay with a meal and he said “Yes.” Unfortunately, it wasn't  quite true.  He was fine with the meal if he left the roast beef and tried to eat peas (he managed three ). He did eat the baked potato.

Once he was home again I think we worked out he had eaten about 7 pieces of bread / toast, a baked potato, 3 peas and half a jelly in 3 days and 2 nights.  In my opinion it wasn’t really enough food, however he was okay with it but absolutely starving when he got home.

So I have been trying to get him to practise asking for a sandwich or at least not saying he is fine when he isn’t.  But he can’t understand why.  He feels that it was fine last time and if he doesn’t eat this time he will be okay.  Meanwhile he is lining boxes of cereal up in the cupboard in fibre order, reading any thing he is eating that has a nutrition panel for it’s fibre content and is very unimpressed when he can’t find fibre listed.

Tonight he mentioned that at the last camp he slept on the floor underneath the bed instead of on the bunk he had chosen because the sheets were scratchy and it was more comfortable.  And that he will probably do that again this time. Um mate, you haven’t hidden under desks etc for about 2 years that I knew about.

Then there’s the asthma factor.  Boy child has been on meds for asthma for a very long time.  School recently had a sports event on the oval (which admittedly is only about 300 metres from the front office).  They didn’t bring any reliever meds out to the oval.  Not even the school’s emergency one.  Given Asthma affects about 1 in 5 or so children in Australia I would have thought that would have been a pretty obvious thing to do.  But no, they didn't bring it out.

Maybe I was naive.  Maybe I should have made sure Boy Child had gotten his puffer from the office before the events.  Maybe I should have made sure he took his puffer before the event but he had already had it less than 4 hours earlier and seemed perfectly fine.

What’s going to happen at camp?  I think last year they had to take their relievers with them everywhere but what if they don’t?  I’m worried that he will be too far from assistance.  I feel like I can’t trust school to do the right thing asthma wise and that scares me.  Parents do not go on camp.  He does not have an aide or any assistance at school whatsoever.

Then there’s the whole high school issue.  The close, not very academic (and possibly dodgy) school where some of his 4 friends may go, or some where further away where he may get extended and actually challenged but with very few (if any) kids he knows in his year. We need to decide and apply by early June.

While getting a170 plus cm tall, starving 11 year old home won’t be pleasant, tonight that feels like the least of my worries.

Edited at 1.20pm 4 May 2010, to note for those who don’t know:

Boy Child has Aspergers Syndrome. It is an Autism Spectrum Disorder.   Boy Child’s issues  with food (texture, smell, etc) are sensory issues relating to his Aspergers.

 

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