It’s weird but I thought I would have mentioned this before but I just did a quick search and I couldn't find it. So I’m sorry if you have read some of this previously. I don’t like this long weekend very much. It’s a combination of factors – all family related. Which bring me to my delusions of belonging.
My extended family live about 3 hours drive away (if you don’t stop). We probably visit them every school holidays for at least a few days. and for a while my aunt and uncle would come here once a year tacked on to their weekend away that they have every June as it generally coincided with my mum’s birthday.
Every June long weekend the majority of my extended family come half way to where we live and have a get together. With their family and friends. We were invited once probably 5 years ago, although it could have been the year my Mum died so 4 years ago. We have never been invited again. Not sure why and I’m afraid to ask. But it cuts me up every time it happens.
Happy family and friend photos on Facebook. Comments about the family but we are not included. I guess it’s because I have spent most of my life interstate and I guess we are kind of out of sight and out of mind. However, it’s the June Long weekend again and my family are about 90 minutes away celebrating a big family event. I’m sad. My cousin’s are all there, with their spouses and children and some of their family friends. My heart broke when I read that my cousins brother in law’s post on Facebook about how happy he is to be part of their extended family.
The fact that my In Laws don’t care about us at all, unless they need something (I had a heated conversation with a Sister in Law recently about this) and my family not even offering for us to visit them for a few hours for a big event I’m shattered. Absolutely shattered. I know that they are closer to other people due to having strong social ties but it’s like we are a complete afterthought or in this case a non thought.
I had delusions that after my mother died we would be accepted as part of the family again but apparently not. I call at least and email few times a month, we go and visit at least 4 times a year. These people have known me all my life. I even spent parts of my childhood with them. They were closer to me than my own parents.
When you are happy and celebrating you’d rather be with people you know and like rather than with people where all you really share is a blood tie. But it still hurts.
All I can do is put on a happy face next time I talk to them and hope that my mask doesn't crack.