I’m one of those weird people who feel homesick before I leave home. I guess I get pre-emptively homesick so that then I can enjoy actually being away from home. Or not.
I had an appointment with the GP yesterday. I was already annoyed with him. I think this post may have given my feelings away. But now I’ve decided that I am done with him. Completely and utterly done. So I will be seeing a different GP at a different surgery later this week. But the thing is I feel bad. I feel as though I am betraying this guy who has looked after my family’s health for over 5 years.
And the job? The one that does my head in, the one Mr E. often asked me when I was getting rid of it? The one where the committee decided that I should put my health first and will be taking the job off me? I am so totally pissed about it. I’m angry and sad about losing a job I didn’t want to keep in the first place. What is going on with me?
How can I be feeling sad about things that I won’t actually miss?
I guess it’s kind of like when someone you don’t have a good relationship with leaves or dies. Someone (a psychologist) once told me while you may not miss the person themselves, you miss the ideal of what the relationship could have been.
Umm… maybe that’s it. Maybe I’m feeling some sort of loss about these things because I’m perceiving these events in the light that I have really had limited choice.
Or maybe I’m just weird.
Thanks for dropping by, you can return to your regular lives now.