Monday, 3 May 2010

Mother Worry

I’m having some moments at the moment.  I think these are more than just the standard mother worry that I have.  My standard worries consist of a few things but in general “Am I screwing my kids up?” tops  the list.

But it’s not that.  Well not only that. Some days I’m sure if WW III was declared I could probably twist it around so I had a major part in it starting.  But let’s not go into my neuroses here… well at least not in this paragraph!

It’s Boy child.  He has his school camp coming up and doesn’t eat a big variety of food.  Last year we had spoken with the organising teacher about the food thing and were assured that if the food wasn't stuff he would / could bring himself to eat he would have access to sandwiches.  Which was all fine until he was asked was he okay with a meal and he said “Yes.” Unfortunately, it wasn't  quite true.  He was fine with the meal if he left the roast beef and tried to eat peas (he managed three ). He did eat the baked potato.

Once he was home again I think we worked out he had eaten about 7 pieces of bread / toast, a baked potato, 3 peas and half a jelly in 3 days and 2 nights.  In my opinion it wasn’t really enough food, however he was okay with it but absolutely starving when he got home.

So I have been trying to get him to practise asking for a sandwich or at least not saying he is fine when he isn’t.  But he can’t understand why.  He feels that it was fine last time and if he doesn’t eat this time he will be okay.  Meanwhile he is lining boxes of cereal up in the cupboard in fibre order, reading any thing he is eating that has a nutrition panel for it’s fibre content and is very unimpressed when he can’t find fibre listed.

Tonight he mentioned that at the last camp he slept on the floor underneath the bed instead of on the bunk he had chosen because the sheets were scratchy and it was more comfortable.  And that he will probably do that again this time. Um mate, you haven’t hidden under desks etc for about 2 years that I knew about.

Then there’s the asthma factor.  Boy child has been on meds for asthma for a very long time.  School recently had a sports event on the oval (which admittedly is only about 300 metres from the front office).  They didn’t bring any reliever meds out to the oval.  Not even the school’s emergency one.  Given Asthma affects about 1 in 5 or so children in Australia I would have thought that would have been a pretty obvious thing to do.  But no, they didn't bring it out.

Maybe I was naive.  Maybe I should have made sure Boy Child had gotten his puffer from the office before the events.  Maybe I should have made sure he took his puffer before the event but he had already had it less than 4 hours earlier and seemed perfectly fine.

What’s going to happen at camp?  I think last year they had to take their relievers with them everywhere but what if they don’t?  I’m worried that he will be too far from assistance.  I feel like I can’t trust school to do the right thing asthma wise and that scares me.  Parents do not go on camp.  He does not have an aide or any assistance at school whatsoever.

Then there’s the whole high school issue.  The close, not very academic (and possibly dodgy) school where some of his 4 friends may go, or some where further away where he may get extended and actually challenged but with very few (if any) kids he knows in his year. We need to decide and apply by early June.

While getting a170 plus cm tall, starving 11 year old home won’t be pleasant, tonight that feels like the least of my worries.

Edited at 1.20pm 4 May 2010, to note for those who don’t know:

Boy Child has Aspergers Syndrome. It is an Autism Spectrum Disorder.   Boy Child’s issues  with food (texture, smell, etc) are sensory issues relating to his Aspergers.


Lucy said...

Oh that is hard. I am fretting for you now. I hope it all starts to clear in your head. x

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Oh E, you poor thing. That's a lot to digest. Can you seek out one sympathetic teacher who'll be going on the camp and confide in them? Maybe even write to them with your concerns. Don't worry about appearing like a over-concerned mother - you know your child and what they need and should do what you can to make life easier. Good luck xx

E. said...

Thanks Lucy and PPMJ. Your comments are much appreciated. I will be having anotehr chat with school this afternoon to find out who is going to camp. Boy Child's teacher is undergoing chemo so is unlikely to go. I think I need chocolate!

Wanderlust said...

Oh, I know I would be nervous sending one of my kids off to camp for a week without any of those issues to worry about. I would definitely talk to some of the instructors that will be there to make sure they are aware of his needs and can watch out for him. xo

Cate P said...

Wow, and I thought I had a lot to worry about when my kids started going to school camps and such. Food, bedwetting, friends etc.
I thought I had worked out my reply to you but you blew my whole solution when I read that parents don't go on camps. Ours always had 4 or 5 parents along, and it was generally the parents whose children had specific needs for reasons such as yours.(apart from the year my hubby went, along with another Dad who was a mate, and they snuck out of the cabins at night to sit and have a chat and a glass of Port together, but that's another story).
Can only suggest to keep the communication going with the school, and perhaps even directly with the operators at the campsite, if that's possible.
*hands you chocolate and coffee....and more chocolate*
Good luck to you and him.

Anna said...

Mmmmm. I would definitely be chatting to the teachers who are going on camp to make sure they understand your DS's needs. Write it all down as well and give them that too. Chances are they will refer back to it. Can you give the teachers your mobile number and get theirs? That way you can just randomly ring them, or they can contact you as well.
Boy child sounds very resourceful (despite his lack of food) and at least is able to find ways to cope with things like uncomfy beds.

The school thing? I have no idea. But I will give you a heap of chocolates too and hope that the solution will appear.

Thinking of you!

E. said...

Thanks for the ideas, support, coffee and chocolate! I have an updated post and am feeling a lot better.

Updated post here:


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