Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Cliques, comments and twits

There was a post the other day over at Beautifully Mundane about fitting in.  I didn't comment on the post but I did spend quite a bit of time thinking about it.  Melissa also posted about where to from here about her blog Then Lucy posted this one about commenting.  Again I didn't  comment but spent a lot of time thinking about it.
So here are my thoughts now. They do seem to mostly related to the commenting but I guess the clique or not clique part is addressed here as well – I hope.
I comment on people’s blogs when I like the post.  When it has left me with a wow, or a cool or whatever.  It’s elicited an emotional response.  That said there are some that while they have elected an emotional response I’m just not in the right space to reply take this post of Madmother’s.  I want to reply but at the moment he head isn’t in the game enough to be articulate.  And I’m so not a (((HUGS))) person.
I have taken to not commenting on people’s blogs where they reply to some commenters but not the others.  That makes me feel that they are only acknowledging the in crowd.  I feel that I haven’t meet the grade to be replied to. Now it is probably more that the reply to the first few and then life gets in the way.  But sometimes it’s seems as though I’m never going to make the grade or be acknowledged.
I also have chosen to not or rarely comment on people who never acknowledge your comments. I really, really appreciate those who reply to my comments.  Either by email or in the comment thread.  Yes, I am one of those bloggers who actually subscribe to the comment thread or just check back occasionally to see if there is a reply.  I know I don;t manage it but a I try really hard to reply to my commenters.  Either by email where possible, or in the comment thread of by thanking or acknowledging the commenters in my next post.
I do wonder how many conversations are actually taking place in the twitter verse or by email about things that have been blogged about.  I wonder if maybe not being part of the twitter verse has helped or hindered my blog.  But really it wasn't something I thought about unless I saw a blog with the twitter feed in the side bar. It’s the same with the Facebook pages for blogs.
Because I’m a private person (yes with a blog, how conflicted is that?) I don’t link my blog to my Facebook page.  I generally don’t ‘like’ blogs on my Facebook page for the same reason. I  I don;t visit Blogs Facebook pages either, maybe that is why I sometimes feel as thought I am out of the loop.
I haven’t chosen to use twitter due to the privacy issue, however Nerd Boy Mr E. decided to set up a Whining Twitter Account for me this evening. So I will be out there being a Twit or Twitterer or whatever you call it.  Breaking new ground for me.  Please be gentle on me.  I’m already afraid that I won’t be able to keep up.  Also I’m afraid I’ll become like Mr E. having weird twitter conversations about bizarre things.
If you see me out there in the big wide Twitter-verse say hi. Please?


PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

I know what you mean. I love commenting - and responding to comments - but I've been so ridiculously time-pressed lately that I feel like I've made a huge achievement when I manage to blog! I know how much it means to me to receive a comment - so I'm now determined to get out there again and show the love.

Diane said...

I have a twitter account but it overwhelms me. My blog posts are automatically posted there but I don't spend much time on it.

When I began blogging, over a year ago now, I was surprised to discover how clique-ish blogging can be. I've had my feelings hurt a few times although I know I should not let such silly things bother me.

I appreciate all my comments and always try to reply in email or by returning a visit to the commenter's blog.

Btw, thanks for the "Happy Birthday" wishes! :)

Lucy said...

The Twitter thing - it is an aquired taste.

I had an account for a year or so before I "got it".

The Julia Gillard spill thing got me hooked.

And this post, this whole post about comments is spot on, and covers so much of what I discovered yesterday, via the comments on my blog and via Twitter and email...


Madmother said...

Okay, feeling totally lost here. Was there something that triggered this (as Lucy has referred to)?

I'm a slack arse at replying to comments, though I do try. Sometimes I think I have but have actually become lost in the reality of life and whilst I meant to reply I have not, lol.

Must admit I also feel very "out" at the moment, probably for being outspoken on the clique issue, although it could also just be me feeling raw.

Anna said...

I didn't realise there was a blog clique until after the bloggers conference. Seems there is though. But I don't blog to be part of that. I have a twitter account set up for the blog and use it. No one replies but I don't care. I use it to write all kinds of stuff that I don't write anywhere else!! It is kind of cool.
Re commenting. I make a concerted effort now to reply to my comments/emails. I realised that the majority of people reading my blog really want me too!
I do miss the odd few though.

I will track you down and follow you on twitter. I have no idea really how it works.

E. said...

Wow - I'm overwhelmed by the amount of comments in such a short space of time.

I'm not sure there necessarily is a clique or cliques but the topic has come up a few times since the ABC.

To be honest I figure the people who seem to talk to each other a lot are just friends. I think the Twitter thing has probably helped with that. I'm probably a little envious of the close friendship some people seem to have, but they have chosen to put themselves out there.

Um - I think this should have been a blog post!

It's funny you guys who have replied so far are people I often chose to comment on because your posts appeal to me.

Sam-O said...

I started blogging because my life revolved around the kids and the workaholic not being around, it offered me an opportunity to use my brain for other things. I hadn't considered comments or followers or cliques.

I'm finding that I like the feedback and I tend to comment on others for the same reasons as you. I'm also taking on board your comments about acknowleding comments. Sometimes it doesn't seem necessary but I think even just a thanks is the polite thing to do!

I'm not and never have been the cliquey type, so mostly I just plow on ignoring it all! Over the years I've found it's the best way to be in mostly female workplaces.

Sam x
PS Thanks for following me. I didn't consider how nice it was when someone chose to follow you. Maybe I am cliquey afterall...

heavenisabookstore said...

I don't twitter and I don't use my facebook act all that often, but I try to comment on other's comments by email or if it's a general consensus I will leave the comment on my blog. It's tough though, sometimes I just don't know what to say; other times, life does get in the way; the rest, the conversation may have just be at a standstill. What bothers me most, is the people who comment by advertising their own blog. I am thinking, did they even read my post or just skip to the comment section to post about themselves. Then again, maybe they don't know what to say either.

Leanne said...

Hey there E!
This is a good post and puts into words so much of what people feel.
I've felt all that before.
My Facebook page is my personal one (there is no DFF one) and I only let in those bloggers I have a real connection with and chat to via email as well as the blogosphere.A tiny handful of people I'll end up seeing face to face one of these days. Just because it's my private FB page and shows photos of my family etc. I want my family and friends to feel safe and not over exposed. And that Twitter thing. Well, as Lucy will tell you, I'm an absolute Twitter Twit! I have no idea how to use it other than to post a few lines every day. And that is mainly to keep my bestie overseas and my Mum up to date with my movements for the day! LOL. So they can see whether I'm home or not and keep them involved in my life when I'm not around to talk by phone. It's like my little sign on the uni dorm door. "Gone shoppin'". I've never actually had a conversation or done link in things on Twitter. Wouldn't know how!
And that comment thing. I agree. I actually never used to "reply" to comments left on my blog. It just didn't occur to me that I should. Then when I'd start commenting myself I realised I kinda wanted that acknowledgement so I began to do it myself. Did you know I only discovered the subscribe to thread thingo two weeks ago! Now I subscribe when I leave a comment.
Hey, this comment is so long it's a post!
Sorry. As usual I'm a chatterbox.
Should have poured yourself a cuppa for that one ...
Oh, and I am a hugs person.
So whether you like it or not

Being Me said...

Oh E! I think you have inadvertently stumbled across the key ingredient in your last comment:

It's funny you guys who have replied so far are people I often chose to comment on because your posts appeal to me.

That, my friend, is a so-called "clique"! Through your blog, you find your people, the ones you'd find interesting to have a natter with over a cuppa at a café. I can tell you right now, I have tried (and since ceased) commenting on many of these bigger, better, faster, stronger blogs..... I never (read: NEVER) get replied to by the blogger themselves, even though they will reply to certain comments that take their fancy.

Once that happens, I'm afraid I rarely comment - in fact, rarely read - their blogs any more. If I have attempted several times and met with that same dismissal, I'm not going to waste my time.

So, I say stick with the blogs of the people who comment on yours. Branch out from there - and I do this by aligning with blogs I love to read, and then if the comments are reciprocated or you feel welcome to read, then hey presto! You've welcome another blog into *YOUR* circle (your cliqué!). I use that term 'cliqué' very tongue in cheek because I think it is divisive and undermines what we are trying to do here: connect. But again, that's JMHO.

Also, I was so excited to see you on Twitter! Followed you straight away. Twitter is a strange beast, it's daunting - be warned! - but stick at it, try it out.

I hope you don't feel too dejected? :( There are sooooo many blogs out there these days, which is kinda good but kinda sucks, I often don't get around to all the ones I know and adore.

Melissa *Suger Coat It* said...

I love you and this blog. I alway have. AND I already found you on Twitter. I was REALLY excited. I've kinda fallen in love with twitter lately.

I find that mostly I read blogs at the moment on my iPhone. I then find it hard to comment in the tiny little section offered. So I've convinced Hubby an iPad is in order. Consider me mobile!! This is important because I have always liked to try and comment so the writer knows I was there. That someone is reading. And I miss being able to do that.

I love comments. Always try to respond via email if ppl have one attached to their blogger account or on the post if I am on the blog.

Great, thought provoking post.

Kakka said...

Hi E, sorry - I don't always get around to all the blogs on my reading list cause as you say 'life gets in the way'. Like you I don't always comment even if I have a connection to the post as sometimes the connection is not one I can share. I try really hard to do replies to commenters on my blog via my blog but don't always get there, so please know that if I have not replied there is no slight intended in any way.

I too don't Twitter and have intention of doing so, nor do I have a Facebook page just for my blog as I to am a private person in a lot of ways.

I'm am loving this post of yours.


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