Sunday, 9 May 2010

Memories of Mother’s Days…

In Australia today it is Mother’s Day.  We have been subjected to weeks of advertisements for fluffy slippers, pyjamas, totally useless useful appliances and Sam Moran’s (the new Yellow Wiggle) solo album.

I did not receive any of these things. My children had been shopping with Mr E. earlier in the week and then again at the Mother’s Day stall at school.  I gave them the money on Friday to spend at the stall and that reminded me of a time when I was about 10 going shopping with my mum.  I was buying her a present for Mother's day that she had to pay for.  I remember there were a few little things and the lady who served me put the things in a bag so Mum couldn't see them when she paid.  It’s weird the things you remember isn’t it?  All I remember was one part of that present was a floral toiletry bag.

Another memory I have is of my first or second Mother’s Day.  I’m pretty sure it was my first.   Mr E, my mum, Boy Child and I went out to lunch.  We were sitting at a table and nearby was a blonde lady.  Boy Child spent a lot of time looking at her and was very upset when someone got in his line of sight.  It was very funny that he had never seen this woman before and was absolutely fixated on her.

These are the good memories.  There are some not so good ones too.  The first one after Mum died, friends and family seemed to care but the ones after that don’t seem to rate a mention.

Yesterday at the shops I had a moment while buying bread and milk.  I’m not sure what caused it but the whole overwhelming I’m an orphan thing happened.  But the thing is, it isn’t my mum I miss.  It’s the fantasy of the relationship we could have had.   That relationship was like sunlight glancing through trees and just as suddenly it was gone again.

When I think of Mother’s Day with my Mum I remember not so much the memory of shopping I put up there but a different one.  The memory of my Dad ringing and yelling at me at 10am because I hadn’t yet rung my Mum for Mother’s Day. She was apparently ranting and raving and I didn’t love her because I hadn’t called when she had expected me to.  Never mind that we were meeting at 12 for lunch at a restaurant.  I had once again failed as a daughter but this time was because I didn’t call within her timeframe.  It’s sad really. 

I hope that when my kids are older their memories of Mother’s Day will be things like today: Cuddles, pancakes in bed, lunch out and just hanging out together.  Perfect!

I hope all the Mother’s have had a Happy Mother’s Day.  I hope those Mother’s who have lost a child, those people who have lost a mother I hope your day was not totally filled with heartbreak.  For  those with mother’s or children are missing from your lives (whether by accident or design) I hope today was okay for you.  To those who are struggling to have a family I wish you well and hope that you achieve your dreams.

Thank you to my beautiful family for a lovely day.  I love you all!


Psych Babbler said...

Happy Mother's Day to you E. I do hope your kids will have loving memories of mother's day as they grow older.... =)

Lucy said...

I hear you on the Mum thing. I 'phoned mine (late, apparently, at 9.30am?) and as soon as she finished being cranky at me,she asked me to stop and buy cigarettes for her. Riiiiight. xx

Lulu said...

I LUUURVED the hiding of the presents, the wrapping behind closed doors and the sweeet anticipation of mum unwrapping the toilet roll holder bought at the stall at school.

Then there was the time we gave her a glass of Olive Oil instead of Apple Juice with breakfast....


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