Post It Note Tuesday 31 May 2011

I did these this morning and since then some of these issues have been resolved.  However, I thought as they were a snap shot of my brain at around 10 am this morning, I would post them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The child who hurt mine is apparently being suspended.  Not just because of this issue but others as well.  My friend has now thanked my child for involving himself and getting hurt in the process.

I have bought and taken the migraine tablet and even had a nap. Girl Child insisted she would be okay but felt it necessary to talk to me about stuff.  She WILL be at school tomorrow!

If you want to play along,  join up with Kristin at the Only Parent Chronicles.

So while Blogger hates me…

 

Here are a few of the comments I would have made if I had the chance:

To Deep Fried Fruit on her 600th post:

Oh no, thanks for the reminder that we will need to passport photos done soon. 

I think the reason you don't smile in passport photos is because long haul trips can be uncomfortable, tiring and you basically just want to thump people rather than smile.  (or is that just me?).

Thanks for sharing 600 days with us!

Suzi from Under the Windmills: Dear Aldi Lady

I’m happy to get you bigger cans of tuna so you can improve your aim.  I hope that they at least replaced your eggs.

Alliecat over at In a Pea Green Boat: Dobbing a Social Conundrum

Ooh, dobbing is an emotive issue. I think your commenters said pretty much everything I wanted to say,

Farmer’s Wifey wrote about her grandmother's funeral

I just wanted to say thinking of you and your family.

Silver Threads of Happiness is lost in a cloud of weariness

I want to say, so I am.  So far I have no medical reason for it and it’s doing my head in. I am so very grateful that I have been able to sleep 12.5 hours Thursday night, 14 hours Friday night and 11 last night.  But it really sucks.

Well, that is only a very small section of the things I wanted to say to you all.  Maybe this very little list has given you some new blogs to look at, and topics to think about.  I would have done more but I’m tired and need to have lunch, do the groceries and then maybe get a nap.

Until later – when hopefully blogger will like me again!

Woe is me

This is an angsty, whiny post.  Keep this window open at your own peril!

This headache (or what may be  a migraine without an aura) has been hanging around for 10 weeks.  Tomorrow starts week 11.  And I’m sick of it!  I hate the fact that I have to take meds every day. I hate the fact that the migraine med makes me feel nauseous but isn’t enough to bang the pain on the head,  I hate that fact that I generally sleep for 9 or 10 hours a night but I’m still tired and want a nap most days.

But what pisses me off the most is that I used to have a high pain tolerance.

I managed to look after Girl Child after a caesarean on just Panadeine Forte (Paracetamol and Codeine) as the pain buster ball delivering pain relief wasn’t turned on for 2 days.   The thing was I thought I was just a wuss at the time.  It was only when they went to take the pain relief out that they realised it wasn't on at all.  Apparently I didn't complain enough to get them to check it out.

So here I am with a bloody headache that cuts through the migraine meds and the other stuff I take as well once again feeling like a loser.  I should be strong enough to beat this.  After all it’s only pain.

 

 

Okay, whine done.  Tomorrow is another day.

Until SOMETHING us do part

So…Marriage.  Does anyone else read that word and hear it pronounced the way it’s said in the Princess Bride? Marwage? Is it even the Princess Bride?  Is it also said like that in Four Weddings and a Funeral? Right back on track.

I can’t actually remember our wedding vows but I’m guessing to death us do part was in there somewhere.  Of course death is something which ends a marriage but with the whole Arnold Schwarzenegger / Maria Shriver relationship ending made me think about what kind of things are Deal breakers ?  The whole Schwarzenegger / Shriver thing made me wonder if cheating is okay but not fathering a child? Or was it not the cheating that was an issue, it was the hiding it for so long?

Before we were married Mr E and I discussed lots of things, some of those conversations were about deal breakers.  Recently I have discovered something that I consider a deal breaker for me was not one of those things.  This deal breaker was not actually around when Mr E and I hooked up.  I was recently heard to say to Mr E. “If you keep Tweeting Masterchef I will seriously consider divorce!” That is currently the deal breaker for me.  Thankfully, the tweeting of Masterchef has stopped or at least lessened enough that I’m no longer considering sleeping in a separate room to him.

But it has also made me wonder what other things have changed during our marriage that could be considered a deal breaker.  Both Mr E. and I have gained weight during our relationship.  For some that would be considered a deal breaker, but to us it’s not.  I have recently heard of a couple who have broken up because one of them lost weight and got fit and the other has chosen not to.  I’m really hoping there is more to the story than that because for some reason that seems like a silly excuse.  But then again my objection to what I consider excessive tweeting of Masterchef may seem silly and petty to some of you as well.  I’m just hoping my newfound objection to chocolate or my  blog reading addiction isn’t enough to cause Mr E to consider divorce.

Is there anything your partner does that  drives you nuts?  Does it frustrate you enough to consider breaking up over?  What things do you do that drive your partner crazy? I mean the silly little things that you didn't expect like excessive tweeting, or an obsession with a certain colour, item or TV show?

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks about this kind of stuff…

General ramblings relating to ASD

Sorry, another ASD post.  Feel free to wander off now before I get into it. 

Here’s some nice music to help you make up your mind…

Do, do, do, do,do,do do…I have no idea what music that is, just chose your own song depending on your mood.

All good now? Let’s go.

Why is it that because Boy Child is smart that he doesn’t need or isn’t entitled to help?  Why was it when I mentioned to someone that Boy Child did NAPLAN in a room with only a few other children it was basically met with ”Why? He is smart.”

The fact that he is smart doesn’t mean that he doesn't have any issues.  Being smart doesn’t rule out social and organisational deficits.  He has a diagnosis, he has met the criteria.  Having an ASD diagnosis and being smart aren't always mutually exclusive.

And the bus ticket debacle has caused an issue in our house.  Boy Child was always dead set against the bus to get to school but until recently has been remarkably adept at catching it.   Apart from a few minor hiccups he has coped really well. Until the bus ticket was taken from him. The stress of having to pay cash every day, twice a day has caused Boy Child to again raise how much he hates the bus.  Again and again and again.

Now it’s taken until this morning to actually get the new ticket (this was the third ticket since Boy’s was taken off him last Monday – it’s been a comedy of errors), and I dropped it off to him at school during recess so he could get home okay.  Because even though he is physically capable of paying with money his anxiety was rising every single bus ride.  And this means that it’s going to take a while for his stress levels to reduce and for him to go back to his normal.

Sometimes one event can trigger a response which seems out of proportion.  When walking home from school he had a run-in of some sort with a few teenaged girls.  This then lead to Boy Child’s complete inability to go into a shop by himself. He could only go into a shop with us or Girl Child but was unable to speak to anyone.  Slowly things have improved and he will now speak in stores but still only if someone is with him.  Apparently it’s due to the anxiety that he will do something that will embarrass him.

I wonder what this the bus incident is going to trigger and how long it will last?

The Happiness Project Revealed!

So on Sunday 10 April 2011, I joined Naomi (from Seven Cherubs) with about 80 others in the happiness project.

The deal was a to write a sentence every day from 10 April to 10 May about the things that made you happy and grateful.  These sentences were to be collected and then posted aka revealed some time after 10 May 2011.

So my little brain wave was to start a draft blog post and put all my happy thoughts aka sentences in it to be revealed at the end.  So here we go.

Sunday 10 April 2011 – Lunch with friends, Hot chocolate from Koko Black (yum), new second hand DS for Girl child (hurray for 2 year warranties), lunch invitation once I have an answer, love from the family and a nice warm bath with a book.

Monday 11 April – Girl child stayed home from school with a cough (the happy part is she cried because she couldn't go to school not because she was going to school!), so we enjoyed a day at home together – Nice.

Tuesday 12 April – Despite Girl child being sent home after 50 minutes of school she actually made it to school, I had coffee with friends – twice, Mr E finished dinner when I needed a break and another relaxing  bath.

Wednesday 13 April – Spur of the moment invitations to coffee by two lots of people (I did decaf!), finally told that Dr had my test results and wants to see me, Girl child managed a whole day at school and I was in bed by 9.30.

Thursday 14 April – School Photo day for Girl Child (can’t wait to see them), Dr Appointment for test results, coffee with a different friend! (way more coffee dates this week than normal – how cool), watching day at dance and a scan that proves I have a brain – WOOT.

Friday 15 April – Brain normal, (really – LOL), lunch with DFF – lovely person, more tests, gorgeous caring family.

Saturday 16 April – School holidays, swimming lessons, family.

Sunday 17 April – Just a quiet day at home, Yay.

Monday 18 April – Drive to visit friends, home made GF profiteroles – yummo, nice spending time with friends.

Tuesday19 April -  Day at home, just me and the kids, no school runs, no homework, Bliss.

Wednesday 20 April – Washed dogs at the local car wash (yes there is a dog wash there), children decided to walk the dogs home – in the rain, very glad the kids wanted to be together and with the dogs, chicken schnitzel for dinner.

Thursday 21 April -  Caught up with High School friends and their families, wow, lunch out playing at a park, great time.

Friday 22 April – Good Friday, all of us driving to see family, spending night with my grandmother, loving having Mr E with us away from home.

Saturday 23 April – Catching up with my sister and her husband (haven't seen them since 2009), staying with my grandmother, going to stay my aunt and uncle.

Sunday 24 April – Picnic with my Aunt and Uncles church, caught up with some of my cousins, saw my youngest relative,  photos of my beautiful children with their cousins, more time with my sister and her husband, Lovely dinner out.

Monday 25 April – Anzac Day, remembering those who have fought, back at Grandmothers, dinner out again!

Tuesday 26 April – Saw Hop with my kids and grandmother, took her home and went back to my uncle and aunts where they had a family dinner for 17 people, great to catch up with my cousins and their kids again and even more catching up with the ones who had been away.

Wednesday 27April – Aunt took Boy to Art Gallery, Girl and I had bonding time with book shopping, and ice cream, home to Mr E and sleeping in my own bed.

Thursday 28 April- First day back at home, Nothing happened except a play date for girl child, great to be at home.

Friday 29April –  A friends' birthday, Smiley Dog probably not yet blind – Yay, Good news day.

Saturday 30 April – Back to swimming lessons – Girl child is much more confident and doing so well, went to Roller Derby for the first time ever (the half I got to see was good), dinner out at an Asian restaurant and Boy Child actually ate something – OMG, impressive.

Sunday 1 May -  Sleep in and a nap, what more could a girl want?

Monday 2 May – School back – yay, Dr’s Appointment confirms decision to leave that practice, 2 coffee dates with friends, lovely.

Tuesday  3 May – No school runs (both kids home), quiet day at home.

Wednesday 4 May  – Boy child back at school after both sick yesterday, Girl child almost made it back another quiet home day.

Thursday 5 May – Girl at school – hurray, hung out at Mother’s Day stall at Girl Child’s school with great stuff, extremely grateful that my Girl will follow instructions, happy that one angry adult can get a bunch of teenagers off 2 little kids, got my kids and a spare to dance on time, takeaway for dinner!

Friday 6 May  - Grateful that Girl Child’s school took recent events between the big kids and little kids seriously,  two Coffee dates with different people in the morning followed by lunch with a different friend,  saw the new Dr who listened, new meds for pain.

Saturday 7 May – New meds good, First dinner out with Mr E. and no children since December 2009, met his friends from work, loved being grown ups, huge thanks to the volunteer child sitter.

Sunday 8 May – Mother’s Day, lovely presents from family, pancakes for breakfast, nap number two for the weekend, bath with bath bomb I received for gift.

Monday 9 May – Friend rang to check up on me, I made a lovely shepherd’s pie for dinner, Mr E finished it off while I was out with Boy, cheese on top it was very yummy.

Tuesday 10 May – Saw new Dr again who is still listening, Hurray!, Coffee with a friend, Phone call with another  friend who cares, I am so very grateful for my friends and family, they care and haven’t asked me to shut up about my headache yet!

And that is that!  It appears that most of my happiness revolves around coffee and food.  Seriously a few months ago that list would have included chocolate.  However, I have worked out that I spending a lot of time more having coffee recently.  And for me coffee is a social catch-up thing so that must mean I have more friends this year.

Of course, family is important in my life too.  My family makes me happy, even on days when they drive me nuts.  Did you play along with Naomi? If so link up so we can all check out the things that make you happy.

A huge Thank you goes out to Naomi for running this Happiness Project. 

Oh, here's the linky:

So …I’ve started seeing this new guy

It seems to be going swimmingly so far.  He is friendly, articulate and has made Girl Child laugh.  At this point Boy Child hasn’t met him. But that’s okay.  I don’t really even want Boy Child to have fledgling relationship with this guy until I think it’s going to work out.

But do you know what I like about him best of all?  He does what he says he will.  So I guess the question is why did I stay in a bloody dysfunctional relationship for so long?  Was it the comfort factor? Sort of staying with the devil you know. Was it the expectation that the relationship would change and I would start to get something out of it?

Oh well, it doesn’t matter now.  I’ve traded up.  To a younger, better looking model.  One who actually calls when he is supposed to.  Umm…. Well actually his people called my people me but still I haven’t had to spend time chasing him up. 

Would you like to see him?  Well as I generally don’t publish photo’s here, I think I should just post a general representation.

http://www.fox.com/_photos/shows/house/extras/season_7/

Yep..  That works for me.  Note: Jesse Spencer as Dr Robert Chase does not actually resemble my new bloke too closely but I can dream, right? 

But I’m wondering why it took me so long to dump the previous bloke?  After all, I’d felt uncomfortable with him for quite a while.  It’s been almost 6 months since I’d discovered that he was full of it and probably more than a year before that I knew I was uncomfortable.  So why did I let it go on so long? Now I could understand if I had am emotional attachment but I didn’t, I actually paid him!

Mr E. is happy with my decision. I am 99% sure that I’m staying with the new bloke and dumping our old GP.  I don’t want to burn any bridges just yet but think we are done with the old bloke.

Have you ever stayed with a ‘professional’ despite your intuition, better judgement or whatever - just because? Did you actually made the break from them? How did you do it? Was there a final straw or did you just make a clean break? How do you feel about it after the event?

I played the AUTISM card

And I feel guilty.

Our City bus service has apparently entered the 21st century.  We have gone from have paper term bus passes with magnetic strips to chipped cards (similar to credit cards) that you have to add money onto, swipe near a card reader as you get on and off, and can keep indefinitely. We have had one for Boy Child for just over a week.

Recently, a Bus Driver took Boy Child’s bus card off him  when he swiped on to the bus on the way to school as it was apparently was invalid.  The driver let him stay on the bus to get to school but then he had no way of getting home.  This is public transport not a school bus service.

So, when I rang the bus company to find out what was going on, I played the Autism card.   I was frustrated and asked why the card which was only used for the first time last week and still should have had $40.00 on it was declared invalid.  I explained that taking the card had meant my autistic child was left with no way home.  Yes, i mentioned that he was autistic at least twice. 

For those who don’t know, Boy Child has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, therefore he has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I’m finding the fact I played it up hard to deal with.  I feel like a fraud and for that matter a failure as a mother.

Despite any diagnosis he may or may not have;  as a parent or a carer isn’t my responsibility to ensure that he is safe? Surely it is my responsibility to ensure he has a contingency plan in place?  Surely I should have made sure he always had the some money  squirreled away in his bag for the bus?  Have I over estimated his ability to cope with life and change and the challenges or public transport?

The whole bus thing has been actually been very successful.  I’m very proud and impressed that there haven’t been too many hiccups.  But the whole the bus card won’t work and would be removed from his possession was not something I had even contemplated.

On the plus side – Boy Child coped remarkably well. He made a contingency plan (to borrow money off someone) to get home.  Unfortunately he couldn't find that person at the end of the day and then he rang me.  There was some issue with the phones (probably because Girl child wanting to talk to Boy Child and they hung up on each other) so he made 2 phones calls to me and I made 4 phone calls to him before I could get the full story. So on the way to pick him up from school I rang the bus company and that’s where this post started. 

I guess playing the card did make me memorable because wanting for a call back and after speaking to person number 3,  I got ‘Ah, yes the autistic child.’  The thing is Boy Child is not defined by his ASD.  It’s just a part of who he is.  He generally doesn't tell people about his Asperger's.

Did I do him a disservice by declaring his ‘thing’?  Did I set back Boy’s ability to operate in the Neurotypical  (aka ‘normal’) world by labelling him? What would you have done?  Would you have played the card I did?  Would you feel guilty?  Or am I just over thinking the whole thing, as usual?

Weirdness of my feelings

I’m one of those weird people who feel homesick before I leave home.  I guess I get pre-emptively homesick so that then I can enjoy actually being away from home.  Or not.

I had an appointment with the GP yesterday.  I was already annoyed with him. I think this post may have given my feelings away.  But now I’ve decided that I am done with him.  Completely and utterly done.  So I will be seeing a different GP at a different surgery later this week.  But the thing is I feel bad.  I feel as though I am betraying this guy who has looked after my family’s health for over 5 years.

And the job? The one that does my head in, the one Mr E. often asked me when I was getting rid of it?  The one where the committee decided that I should put my health first and will be taking the job off me?  I am so totally pissed about it.  I’m angry and sad about losing a job I didn’t want to keep in the first place. What is going on with me?

How can I be feeling sad about things that I won’t actually miss?

I guess it’s kind of like when someone you don’t have a good relationship with leaves or dies.  Someone (a psychologist) once told me while you may not miss the person themselves, you miss the ideal of what the relationship could have been.  

Umm… maybe that’s it.  Maybe I’m feeling some sort of loss about these things because I’m perceiving these events in the light that I have really had limited choice. 

Or maybe I’m just weird.

Thanks for dropping by, you can return to your regular lives now.