Work...

Image from Microsoft office clipart

It's funny how life is. A week and a half ago I was out handing out my résumé and wondering whether I had done the right thing by changing career. Then there was the added hiccup of my 'real job' (the business admin role which I do from home) will probably no longer exist in the near future. While it's not full time (it’s about 15 hours a week depending on the time of year / month etc) it’s employment. . While it sometimes it drives me insane because things have to be done at certain times and I often have to work while I’m interstate  (people need to be paid), I still like the fact that I have a job. It’s a very flexible job at that. I’m proud that I work.  Goodness knows, I’m not proud of my lack of house keeping skills.

A fair chunk of my self esteem is connected to the fact that I work. I found this out when I stopped working for the government many moons ago and starting just doing the business admin role. I felt as though I had lost myself and rarely felt validated as a person. But I have managed to claw some self esteem back by being fairly good at what I do.

However, when we started discussing the demise of my job I may have just lost the plot majorly a little. Suddenly, I was saying aloud things I didn't consciously realise I thought. I'm proud of the fact that I have always worked. That is obviously very important to me.  I have been employed consistently since I before finished Year 12.  Prior to that I was retrenched from my casual weekend job at Grace Brothers (back when it was Grace Brothers and not Myer) but apart from that little glitch I have been always been employed in at least one job or other. 

I’ve been aware that my business admin role was a little tenuous as it doesn't make the company (me and the Mr’s company) money and the less staff there are, the less I’m needed.  So we will be back down to 3 staff in a few weeks and then it will be reduced to 2 not long after.  It doesn't make financial sense to keep that part running. But I was still cut up about it.

Then on Thursday I got a phone call about Learning Support Assistant (LSA) work. Yesterday I had a meeting and I have work. I'm happy, excited and nervous all at the same time. It's at the school I did my prac hours at and while it’s only a few days of work for four weeks, its a great start. They think they may have more work for me after that. Maybe I will be able to make a go of my new career choice.

In this case it seems there is something true about the saying when one door closes, another one opens.