Why do I bother? aka My hypocrisy…

Now this is the post I started last week before I found out about Baby E.  Now for those who are interested, Baby E. is doing well and is awake and breathing on his own at 5 days old!  Go Baby E. !!! This is for you because I can’t come near you.

 

Here it is warts and all. With probably way more angst than it should have because all the little things at the moment feel like an overwhelming tide of things that are going to drown me.  Feel free to leave now before the pity party begins.

 

 

You are still here?  Right then, lets get on with it.

I’m a slob and I’m always generally late.  Which are things that annoy the rest of the world.  Due to the first reason we don't have people over.  I don’t feel comfortable with people in my space and I think (but don’t quote me on this) at least part of the reason I can’t manage to clean up is because I really don't want to have people over.  Which is bad as far as friendships go.  Especially for Boy Child who needs to reciprocate the very few play dates he is actually asked on.

The second is the reason on of my 101 in 1001 things is to be at school before the first bell for some period of time I don't remember.  Every day for 5 weeks or something I think it is but hey that brings me to another point I’m too damn lazy to look it up.

So having acknowledged some of my many flaws I will now let you know where the hypocrisy comes in.  Now the events below all occurred in a 1 or 2 day period and I did have a cold or perhaps I have what Girl child has so that always makes me more negative.

I had missed something I was interested in and was texting someone with the information to find out what had happened.  The response I got was “Fill you in tomorrow. Come early!!!!” Yes, there were 4 exclamation marks.  So I took that to mean that there was something I needed to know and I should be there early.  Arrived early - 20 minutes early in fact and was greeted by no one.

When the person did arrive, they said hi to me and they spent the next 10 minutes talking to people who had been at the meeting about other things. Apparently there was nothing to talk to me about.  I just found that rude.  Me – the slack late and antisocial person finding that situation rude seems more than a little hypocritical to me.

Then there was the whole applying for volunteer positions at two different places.  One was by email.  Which I did after discussions with Mr E.  No response. I know, I know emails do get lost and maybe they were swamped.  But it was just another Why did I bother? moment for me.

Of course it didn't stop me from applying for the next voluntary position.  I nominated with 30 minutes to go.  I’d had over a week to decide and still hadn’t quite made up my mind.  But I bit the bullet and nominated.  Over a week later there was still no response.  No ‘thank you for your interest’ (and this one was on paper in a box so no email getting lost this time around), no ‘we had lots of nominations and will need to go to a vote’ (which I expected).  Nothing, not a word.  And again I think why did I bother?

I know I’m late, and a slob but I really try hard to be polite and acknowledge people.  Maybe my flaws just overshadow the good points I think I have.

So does anyone else (aside from me) think I’m being hypocritical?

I’ve got chocolate in the house today so I can take it!