I have issues with trust. I’m not good at trusting people. As a child my trust was at times ripped into pieces and stomped on (no violins playing here just stating facts) so I have issues. Then I have had friend/s seemingly turn on me for no apparent reason – well it wasn't apparent to me anyway. This reinforced my trust (lack of trust, really) issues.
Oh, have I mentioned I’m
I have spoken to a few people who know all those involved. They think that Boy Child probably insisted on scooting home by himself . Yes, I understand that is probably what happened. He can be strong willed (must take after Mr E. there, surely) but he is also 11 years old. So in these discussions, the general consensus is that a phone call should have been made to say he is refusing the lift and is coming by himself.
What has the upshot of this dilemma been? He hasn't be banned from going to his friends place or going to deliver the brochures but he must be home before dark. And the next time he went there I made a point of picking him up.
Boy Child thinks I’m completely overprotective. He also doesn’t agree with the rule that he cannot go to anyone’s house where I haven’t at least spoken to the parents. I don't see that as over protective. I see that as cautious.
He is allowed to walk / scoot to and from school. Generally in the morning he goes to someone’s house and then goes with that person the rest of the way. In the afternoon he can walk with people but I need to know who so I know which direction he is going in and he is expected home within 30 minutes. He must not stay at anyone’s house in the afternoon unless he has organised it previously. And it needs to be organised with the adults not just the children.
A few weeks ago, Girl Child went on a play date to a friends house. She will be 7 in few months and it was the first time she had ever been on a play date to a house that I had never been to. I have known the family since last year but only as a “Hi, how are you?” kind of way. It was all prearranged and they had my contact details. It all went very well. Girl Child, her play date friend and another child from who lives next door all had a great time. I did have quite a few moments of clock watching and “Wow I can’t believe I’m doing this” but not “OMG what have I done?” I was nervous and stressed but it was all okay.
So how do you organise children’s play dates? Or who organises them? Am I giving my children my trust issues or just cautious? Given we are hoping for Boy Child to go to high school out of our area, I am planning on having more friend stuff to happen for him. But is my need to talk to the other child’s parents beforehand stunting his social life?