Memories of Mother’s Days…

In Australia today it is Mother’s Day.  We have been subjected to weeks of advertisements for fluffy slippers, pyjamas, totally useless useful appliances and Sam Moran’s (the new Yellow Wiggle) solo album.

I did not receive any of these things. My children had been shopping with Mr E. earlier in the week and then again at the Mother’s Day stall at school.  I gave them the money on Friday to spend at the stall and that reminded me of a time when I was about 10 going shopping with my mum.  I was buying her a present for Mother's day that she had to pay for.  I remember there were a few little things and the lady who served me put the things in a bag so Mum couldn't see them when she paid.  It’s weird the things you remember isn’t it?  All I remember was one part of that present was a floral toiletry bag.

Another memory I have is of my first or second Mother’s Day.  I’m pretty sure it was my first.   Mr E, my mum, Boy Child and I went out to lunch.  We were sitting at a table and nearby was a blonde lady.  Boy Child spent a lot of time looking at her and was very upset when someone got in his line of sight.  It was very funny that he had never seen this woman before and was absolutely fixated on her.

These are the good memories.  There are some not so good ones too.  The first one after Mum died, friends and family seemed to care but the ones after that don’t seem to rate a mention.

Yesterday at the shops I had a moment while buying bread and milk.  I’m not sure what caused it but the whole overwhelming I’m an orphan thing happened.  But the thing is, it isn’t my mum I miss.  It’s the fantasy of the relationship we could have had.   That relationship was like sunlight glancing through trees and just as suddenly it was gone again.

When I think of Mother’s Day with my Mum I remember not so much the memory of shopping I put up there but a different one.  The memory of my Dad ringing and yelling at me at 10am because I hadn’t yet rung my Mum for Mother’s Day. She was apparently ranting and raving and I didn’t love her because I hadn’t called when she had expected me to.  Never mind that we were meeting at 12 for lunch at a restaurant.  I had once again failed as a daughter but this time was because I didn’t call within her timeframe.  It’s sad really. 

I hope that when my kids are older their memories of Mother’s Day will be things like today: Cuddles, pancakes in bed, lunch out and just hanging out together.  Perfect!

I hope all the Mother’s have had a Happy Mother’s Day.  I hope those Mother’s who have lost a child, those people who have lost a mother I hope your day was not totally filled with heartbreak.  For  those with mother’s or children are missing from your lives (whether by accident or design) I hope today was okay for you.  To those who are struggling to have a family I wish you well and hope that you achieve your dreams.

Thank you to my beautiful family for a lovely day.  I love you all!

The Triple F

Oy, you lot!  Get your minds out of the gutter.  I’m not sure what you lot are thinking but I don’t it’s what I’m about to blog about.

A blog I follow written by Ashley,  LA birdie's laugh @ life, participates in FLASH.FICTION.FRIDAY.  I thought you writers out there might be interested so here’s what Ashley says about it.

FLASH.FICTION.FRIDAY a.k.a THE TRIPLE F!

The first Friday of every month I will post a Flash Fiction topic. What is Flash Fiction? It is a short story written in 1,000 words or less. If you would like to get a better idea of what Flash Fiction is here are a few sites to check out:

http://www.flashfiction.in/

http://www.fictionfactor.com/guests/flashfiction.html

http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/flash.shtml

http://www.flashfictiononline.com/

The theme/topic for this month's flash is inspired by Mother's Day. The topic is:

A conversation between a child and his/her mother.

If you would like to share your Flash Fiction with other birds in the nest email me @ akagaon.labirdie@gmail.com.  (Please keep it PG 13)

I will be posting each story up on THE TRIPLE F page and my favorites on the main page every Friday.

Can't wait to read your stories!

Happy Writing!

When / if I get my motivation back I ‘d love to join in with the Triple F and with the Muse Wars.  If anyone finds my motivation please send it back to me!

Thank you.

Update on Mother Worry

Thanks to everyone who offered support and suggestions about the whole camp issue.

I have had a few talks with Boy Child to try to get to the heart of the problem. It seems that there were quite a few things about camp that he was / is concerned about. While I knew he had lost lots of confidence, I didn’t realise how much of his ability to ask for assistance and ability work things through that he had lost. 

Anyway,  I have had 2 more discussions with school outlining the issues as Boy Child articulated them to me and it seems as though everything will be okay.  There has been a lot of stress and some tears involved (mostly on my part!) lets hope everything turns out okay.

Oh, the chocolate helped too!

Post it Note Tuesday #3

Here goes:

Brought to you by:

 

Mother Worry

I’m having some moments at the moment.  I think these are more than just the standard mother worry that I have.  My standard worries consist of a few things but in general “Am I screwing my kids up?” tops  the list.

But it’s not that.  Well not only that. Some days I’m sure if WW III was declared I could probably twist it around so I had a major part in it starting.  But let’s not go into my neuroses here… well at least not in this paragraph!

It’s Boy child.  He has his school camp coming up and doesn’t eat a big variety of food.  Last year we had spoken with the organising teacher about the food thing and were assured that if the food wasn't stuff he would / could bring himself to eat he would have access to sandwiches.  Which was all fine until he was asked was he okay with a meal and he said “Yes.” Unfortunately, it wasn't  quite true.  He was fine with the meal if he left the roast beef and tried to eat peas (he managed three ). He did eat the baked potato.

Once he was home again I think we worked out he had eaten about 7 pieces of bread / toast, a baked potato, 3 peas and half a jelly in 3 days and 2 nights.  In my opinion it wasn’t really enough food, however he was okay with it but absolutely starving when he got home.

So I have been trying to get him to practise asking for a sandwich or at least not saying he is fine when he isn’t.  But he can’t understand why.  He feels that it was fine last time and if he doesn’t eat this time he will be okay.  Meanwhile he is lining boxes of cereal up in the cupboard in fibre order, reading any thing he is eating that has a nutrition panel for it’s fibre content and is very unimpressed when he can’t find fibre listed.

Tonight he mentioned that at the last camp he slept on the floor underneath the bed instead of on the bunk he had chosen because the sheets were scratchy and it was more comfortable.  And that he will probably do that again this time. Um mate, you haven’t hidden under desks etc for about 2 years that I knew about.

Then there’s the asthma factor.  Boy child has been on meds for asthma for a very long time.  School recently had a sports event on the oval (which admittedly is only about 300 metres from the front office).  They didn’t bring any reliever meds out to the oval.  Not even the school’s emergency one.  Given Asthma affects about 1 in 5 or so children in Australia I would have thought that would have been a pretty obvious thing to do.  But no, they didn't bring it out.

Maybe I was naive.  Maybe I should have made sure Boy Child had gotten his puffer from the office before the events.  Maybe I should have made sure he took his puffer before the event but he had already had it less than 4 hours earlier and seemed perfectly fine.

What’s going to happen at camp?  I think last year they had to take their relievers with them everywhere but what if they don’t?  I’m worried that he will be too far from assistance.  I feel like I can’t trust school to do the right thing asthma wise and that scares me.  Parents do not go on camp.  He does not have an aide or any assistance at school whatsoever.

Then there’s the whole high school issue.  The close, not very academic (and possibly dodgy) school where some of his 4 friends may go, or some where further away where he may get extended and actually challenged but with very few (if any) kids he knows in his year. We need to decide and apply by early June.

While getting a170 plus cm tall, starving 11 year old home won’t be pleasant, tonight that feels like the least of my worries.

Edited at 1.20pm 4 May 2010, to note for those who don’t know:

Boy Child has Aspergers Syndrome. It is an Autism Spectrum Disorder.   Boy Child’s issues  with food (texture, smell, etc) are sensory issues relating to his Aspergers.