People think of February and many think of Valentine's Day. Me? I think of grief.
This week has been no exception. I know 3 people who attended different funerals this week. Nobody I know died, so I have been lucky enough to not have to attend a funeral myself. Instead, I have organised a few people to meet up to ensure a friend had something to do on the second anniversary of her mothers death. For her February 2010 sucked. She had two family members die in less than a week. One expected, one not - both painful and heart breaking.
Even though I have coffee with her most weeks, my friend W will have a rough week or so soon. We will probably catch up more than once as she has her birthday, the fourth anniversary of her husbands death and what would have been his birthday. Sometimes it feels as though that time has frozen and that that family hasn't moved on. I'm not really sure but then again, is it any of my business? People grieve differently.
I am an example. It's been five years since my mother died, almost 13 since my dad died.One expected, one not. I spoke at both funerals. Last year, I spent Christmas day in my pajamas. When someone asked me why I replied off handedly "because you can do that when your parents are dead and your in laws don't care." Just because I can joke about it and don't talk about the dates my parents died doesn't mean I don't care.
I grieve, not overtly, but quietly. I don't go to the cremetorium to acknowledge their birthdays or date of death. As I said, people grieve differently. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. It just means I might be better at compartmentalising my life.