Thursday, 1 September 2011

I'm mean...

In our house Mr E. sometimes refers to me as the 'Queen of No'. I seem to have veto power on a lot of things, which is good for the finances but not so good for the 'I Want' people in my house. When the rug rats ask why I have said no, I often reply because I'm mean. Which while not exactly true is an answer that I am kind of okay with. And its not just monetary things. Recently I told Girl Child that she couldn't play with her DS or use her recently acquired birthday IPod until she found her glasses. Today I even discussed an issue with Mr E. with that's because I'm mean.

But I was thinking about it today. I'm no longer sure that I'm okay with being the mean one. I guess it's easier to say that than to explain the multitude of reasons that whoever it is can't get whatever the item that is most coveted at the particular moment. I have to admit that Girl Child is probably the worse (do they have more fad stuff aimed at girls?) but I think part of it is because at just 8 she hasn't consciously made the link between stuff and it's cost.

I do think that people need to learn the value of things. I don't want my children to think that the consumer culture is the be all and end all. I don't believe the line "he who dies with the most toys wins". But perhaps I should also lighten up a little on the times I say No. Also I think I should stop saying the reason for the No is because I'm mean. Because I'm probably not being mean. They may think I am being mean but I think I'm just trying to stunt the growth of consumerists and hopefully teach them the value of things.

What's your stand on this? Are you the No person at your place? Do you explain the reasons behind your No?

I'm not just talking big ticket items, I think my battle against creating a consumerist started back with those rides in the shopping centres.

7 comments:

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Oh E, you're in my head. Mine too started with those damned rides - and continues to this day. Even so, my daughter does seem to have a lot of stuff - even with all the Nos...

Sarah Mac said...

I'm the no person in my house because I'm the only adult.

Mine are old enough to have it explained but it doesn't stop them thinking I'm the mean person. Not really helped when the time they spend with their Dad the rules are different.

I don't think saying no makes you mean, it's teaching values and responsibility. I guess it's just a question of balance. If I ever get that balance right I'll let you know ;)

Sam-O said...

My boys are Grandchild number 16 and 18 on my husbands side. They get "Stuff" from too many people. I'm so over their stuff I have been the angry No Mummy for months.

I too am the no person in our house. I liked they way my parents kept birthdays and christmas special by not indulging us inbetween. I remember weird little things like getting a KFC colouring book when I was 7 and my parents were having dinner at a friends. My kids will never have memories like that. They get stuff from everywhere. Nothing is special like that for kids anymore. I keep trying to get the Workaholic to understand but he has joined the ranks of the kids and the three of them sneak around behind my back. As if I didn't know!

gnomeangel said...

I'm the "I want" person in our house and I really feel for my husband because I rely on him being the "No" person. I do worry about teaching our (non-existent) kids about the value of money. I have always struggled with it and I would hate to pass that on. I don't know what the answer is, but I hope I find it soon!

Diane said...

My husband is more of the 'No' person than I am but I too use that word quite often. Like you, I want them to learn to appreciate the value of a dollar and to know that we don't always get what we want in life. It takes a lot of hard work, discipline and good behavior. Better for them to learn how the world really works now than to be hit with a harsh dose of reality later one!

Suzi said...

Yeah, I'm the mean one too ;) I really cracked down on it when the kids started saying "what did you bring?!" instead of "Hi Nanna!" when my mother visited...

Leanne said...

I'm the meanie in our house too. I am the queen of "NO" and I too try to "stunt the growth of consumerists and hopefully teach them the value of things".

But at the same time I also give the kids pocket money (for regular jobs in the house) and while encouraging them to save give them the power to buy the special things they might want. It takes them a long time to save enough money. A long time. But they seem to appreciate the purchase a whole lot more in the end.But yeah, I seem to say "no" a lot to my kids. Maybe I am too harsh. Husband is no where near as harsh. He is the king of "yes"! I am the big "No" monster. Why can't I say "NO" to other people then? Refer to my post today about having no "NO" button ....
http://deepfriedfruit.blogspot.com/2011/09/day-702.html

Sigh.

 

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