Girl Child had a run in with a child at school this week (who we will call Z). She has scratches on both arms and a bruise but she didn't hurt the other child, for which I am very grateful. Unfortunately, this has been an on going issue between the two of them. I've written about it and Girl Child's friendship and frustration issues before. The girls were in different buildings last year so as far as I know there were no incidents between the two of them. But now it seems as though it's starting up again and school has only just started for the year. It's going to be a long year if these two keep sparking off each other.
The girls have had a mediation session facilitated by the Principal to help them reconcile and move on. At this meeting Z acknowledged that she had hurt Girl Child and she apologised. I know this because my Girl Child felt that she hadn't been listened to and so I asked for a meeting with the Principal to clarify what had occurred. As with everything there are always different perceptions of the truth as people see and interpret things differently. Girl Child feels that she wasn't listened to and the Principal feels that the meeting was fair and all parties had the opportunity to put forward their case. I've tried to remain impartial and explain to Girl Child the Principal's point of view and also explain her point of view to the Principal.
Then there is Z's family. I have managed to have a conversation with her father in the hope that we can come up with a strategy to stop (or at least lessen the chances of) this happening again. As far as they are concerned their daughter is an angel and Girl Child got hurt when she fell against a door. Girl Child did say she hurt her back when she was pushed into the door but I'm not sure if that happened before, during or after the scratching.
The father told me Girl Child hurt his daughter last week when there was a group of kids playing. I'm pretty sure that he said there were no marks and the school didn't contact either family so we not aware that an earlier issue may have taken place. There may have been but Girl Child has said that nothing happened and I'm inclined to believe her.
He is also angry because another child swore at Z. Now, this is apparently Girl Child's fault because she falsely accused his child of hurting her. At this point I called Girl Child over (she was out of earshot with some other parent sand children) to show him her arms. He did grudgingly say that the marks did seem to be scratches rather than the marks from a door handle. I really wanted to tell him that his little angel admitted to the Principal that she hurt Girl Child but I figure that it's not my responsibility. I hope that he actually asks Z about the marks on Girl Child now he has seen them himself but I doubt it.
So now I wonder about the way ahead. I've told Girl Child to stay away from this Z but that also means that Girl Child can't play with her friend A. Last time these clashes occurred A's birthday party was cancelled because she couldn't decide whether to invite Z or Girl Child and it obvious to all that both attending wasn't likely to be workable. It definitely seems that A is going to be stuck in the same situation again trying to be friends with two girls who just can't get on.
For Girl Child things look bleak. Not only is she probably not going to be able to play with her friend A, things are even worse as she dearly wanted to be in the school band and she has missed out while both A and Z got places. Something similar happened last year but we were told places in a dance program were full yet Z was able to be slotted into the group at a later time. Not only is Girl Child feeling sad about the incident, she has asked me a number of times why Z gets to do everything and she misses out. And I have no good explanation.
Hopefully next week things will look up.