Sunday, 5 May 2013


Its been school holiday time, so the kids and I have spent some time away with family interstate. For me, it's bittersweet. It's nice to see my children interacting with other members of our family but sad that it is only a few times a year. I am grateful that the family makes time for us as I haven't lived anywhere near them since I was about 8, so many moons ago now.

Every time we leave my grandmothers house she gives (or tries) to give us something. She is attempting to give stuff away because she feels it will be easier on everyone after she is dead. One visit last year I was given a blanket that my mother crocheted before I was born. It's bright and I am glad I have it. I'm not sure I had ever seen it before. This time around my grandmother has told me that she is putting my children's names on things so that my two will get them when she dies. While her thinking about my children is lovely, I kind of find it a bit morbid as well.

I had made a vow to myself earlier this year to clean up our house and have people over. Boy Child has quite a few friends who we should have over to reciprocate and Girl Child (while doing so much better socially this year) would benefit with having some children over. Unfortunately, I didn't progress as far as I wanted due to my work hours expanding so rapidly. This term I'm only working until 1 so I do get extra time at home without the children. This is greatly needed as a huge part of my clean up plan is dealing with toys. Neither child will willing give up any toys, no matter how babyish. I have to do it when they aren't in the house. The problem is that I'm struggling with memories.

We have stuff in our house that was given to my children by my mother. I find it hard to deal with giving these things away because she will neve give them anything else. I have stuff that my mother desperately wanted us to get from her house before we had to hand over the keys to her estranged husband, never to return. But it's not the stuff I would have chosen. If we had known six years ago that those three or so hours would be the last time we would ever be in that house, I would have got things that were important to me as well as the stuff that she wanted. Hindsight is 20/20 though, no one knew that she would be dead two days later.

So we have items that I struggle to deal because I never wanted them in the first place plus things that were gifts from my mother. I need to do something and deal with all this stuff. How would you separate the memories from the things?

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I don't know E - that's such a hard one isn't it? I think, start with the children's toys when they aren't around. There will be lots that you don't mind getting rid of and just keep those that you can't bear to part with but pack them away.

The other things are much harder and I wish I could offer better advice but I say, keep them if you can, maybe there will come a point where you feel able to let some of them go but I don't think it's just yet so dont feel you have too.

As for trying to make the house tider so the kids can have friends over - just do it anyway. The kids really wont care if its a bit cluttered and the truth is, most peoples houses are like that in reality too, we just think everyone else is tidier/better organised. Children don't remember or care if their house is pristine but they do remember being able to bring friends home and having fun. Relax more, worry less :-) x


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