Write On Wednesday #20

I can't believe how many W.O.W. Exercises I have missed. While a one point I thought I could catch up this is the first one I've managed since exercise 6 back at the end of July.

Here's Gill's spiel about this exercise:
Write On Wednesdays Exercise 20 - Write the words " I thought I saw" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Don't take you pen off the page (or fingers off the keyboard). Stop only when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.

I thought I saw...
The shadow of a smile, a glimpse of the person you were. The one who loved me. The one from before. But I was mistaken. That person is gone. There is no hope, you are no longer here.

I thought I saw... the past sneaking up behind me. Waiting to pounce and repeat the times, both good and bad. I was wrong. You are gone, things can't change. History is done.

I thought I saw... a hint of regret in my smile. Or was it guilt. Or relief. History can't change and you are no longer here. For that I am grateful. I am stronger without you. My life is my own.

Wow. I didn't know how much I'd missed doing these exercises. I may go back and do some of the others I have missed.

Check out the other posts for this exercise over at Ink, Paper, Pen.

I'm grateful for pushing my boundaries

This week I did two things that were outside my comfort zone. I'm grateful that I did these things. While not big in the scheme of things, they were things that I normally wouldn't have tried.

Firstly, I went to a Nutrimetics party. Now that isn't so scary in itself. It was a party held by a friend, and I knew all bar one person there. Thankfully it was a Christmas catalogue party so nobody was going to be touching me. However, I was worried as I had attended the makeup lesson with some of these people and thought that they have have wanted to do maintenance in what someone had once called 'those caterpillars on your face' aka my eyebrows.

I can't think of anything that would have been more horrifying disconcerting than arriving to find that my eyebrows were going to be sacrificed to the goddess of beauty. I had actually made a point of asking on the day whether I was going to be used as a guinea pig before actually confirming I would make it.

It was fine, fun even. A chance to catch up at night without our children. It has even started discussion of a night out before Christmas, without husbands and children.

Now the second thing was with most of the same people. But it scared me almost as much as the fear of recreational eyebrow massacre. It was ... Knitting! Yes my friends, a bunch of people got together to learn to knit. Apparently, according to my grandmother, knitting is a dying skill because many of my peers and younger generations do not know how it do it.
 
So in an effort to stop the skill from dying a peaceful death, someone requested a knitting lessons from one of the crafty people we know. From there it snowballed into a morning tea with a side of knitting and a brief foray into paper craft. For once, I was not a newbie having been taught to knit by my grandmother. Of course while I mostly knew what I was doing I still needed to be taught how to increase, decrease and cast off. But as I actually knew way more than some of the others it was nice to not be the gumbiest person in the room.

By the time the paper crafting came around I was more interested in the yummy food. Somehow I have ended up with some embossed cards and letters. Plus some GF chocolate cake. Now I just need Mr E. to stop laughing about the idea of me knitting.

So my boundaries have been pushed and inhale survived. How cool is that? While I'm on the topic of boundaries being pushed I will NOT be putting a photo of my body (even dressed in my good bra and undies) on the Internet even for a great cause. Oh wait, perhaps in part that's because I don't have a good set of underwear.

However, there are many people braver than me. Today they are sharing why they love their bodies just the way they are. Go check out I Heart My Body 2011 over at We Heart Life.

Have you pushed your boundaries, lately? Do you heart your body?

I'm linking up with Maxabella's I'm grateful for....

We went out

Together without the children! How is that worth a blog post? Well, this is the second evening this year that we have managed it. There was another aborted attempt but there was no sitter required as both Boy and Girl were at a disco. Generally our time out sans children consists of us attending a Christmas function together but the last two years there hasn't been a Christmas function.

The plan had been to attend a trivia night with a group but as that didn't work out we went to see the Three Musketeers. I'm not sure why it was in 3D as I don't think it was needed. There were some cool looking bits but I think 2D would have worked just as well and in Mr E.'s opinion probably better.

It was nice to spend time together just the two of us. We even managed a quick, but late, dinner before heading home. While we love the children sometimes it's nice to be just a couple.

How often do you and your partner get to spend time together, just the two of you? Do you have a regular date time? Or do you just grab the occasions as they come along, however infrequently?

Grateful Saturday 22 Oct 2011

This week, like Lucy, I am grateful for friends.

I am grateful for coffee with them, phone calls with them and catching up over morning tea and lunch - check out this post by Leanne. I am grateful for the people who commented on my last post. As you could probably tell I was shattered, completely broken. But with my friends allowing me to brain dump, I'm in a much better place.

As always I am grateful for coffee and for people not thinking I'm a crazy stalker (thanks http://deepfriedfruit.blogspot.com).

I am also grateful to my family. They coped with the crying, desolation and the anger. Especially to a member of member of my extended family who heard a very abridged version of the story and told me that I was the right mother for Boy Child. Wow, it was so unexpected but so what I needed to hear at the time.

So once again, I'm joining in with the Wonderful Maxabella. What are you grateful for?

There is a quote

by Elizabeth Stone which is: “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
Boy Child is Dealing with stuff, both figuratively and literally - mostly figuratively. My heart is bruised and battered. It is not yet broken but it certainly feels like someone has well and truly stomped on it.
I'm surprised that my eyes aren't swollen, as I cried on and off for about 4 hours. Today is a new day. We have a plan. Onward and upward.

It's the stuff in his head we are worried about. Nobody has done anything to him. There are plans in place to deal with this. Dr Jesse wants to see him every week.