Operation Move #walk400 wrap up and this month

I managed to meet my target of 800 minutes for #walk400. My final totals were 822 minutes and 22 seconds of walking which was 60.38 km. I am a little disappointed that I didn't make 900 minutes but I did double what was required and I think I should be very happy with that. I also walked 22 times in January which is 21 more walks than I did in November and 22 more that I did in December.

So now that #walk400 is done and dusted, what's next? Well over at Operation Move the gang are doing a few things. Because of the success of #walk400, February Op Move walkers are aiming a little higher with #Feb450. And if that's not enough to keep you moving, there is also a learn to run program. You can check that out here. I have signed up for both groups and I'm hoping to reach both goals.

The Learn to Run (LtR) program is taking place over 12 weeks and takes three days a week and encourages a rest day between each. I'm hoping to do LtR Monday, Wednesday and Friday and use my 'rest' days to do my #Feb450. The whole thing is geared to get people up to running for 30 minutes straight in 12 weeks. That's a big goal but something I'd really like to achieve. Who knows perhaps I'll be so inspired I'll continue on or even sign up to do a Fun Run (oxymoron, perhaps?) in the future.

I did a 30 minute walk on Monday (Week 1 of LtR is just a walking week) but I've started back at work this week and I'm tired. So I'm going to push my LtR days back so I can get to bed early tonight and hopefully manage to do it tomorrow.

Good Luck to everyone doing Op Move and anything else to increase your health and fitness. Here's to a happy and healthy 2014.

 

Operation Move #walk400 Progress post

So it's almost the end of January. I thought I should do a progress report before I do a wrap up in a few days. Also I want some advice so I'll be asking for your opinions as well.

At my last check in on Friday 24 January my numbers for that week were:

• 171 minutes 3 seconds which was13.29 km of walking.
• A number of these walks have been done with Girl Child. Remarkably she walks slower than me while we are walking / exercising but much faster than me at the shops. We are chatting a fair bit so maybe that’s the reason. That and I hate shopping!
• The total walking I had done in January was 591 minutes 58 seconds and 43.84 km.
• Including the walks I have taken in the last few days my January total is now 741 minutes 38 seconds and 54.29 km.

Now the goal of #walk400 was to get people starting (or continuing) to move in January. I decided that I wanted to push myself and walk 800 plus minutes which I am on schedule for at the moment.  I was also trying to get slimmer in order to fit onto a dress for a wedding on Australia Day.  We should note that I didn't fit into the dress I wanted to wear and I ended up buying a new one. But I was kind of okay with that. The dress was only a size L not the XL I was afraid of but I did follow Mr E's advice and bought some suck everything in underwear. I didn't look too bad even if I do say so myself.

With January almost done, how am I going to keep up with my getting healthy, moving that #walk400 has geared me up for? Well the gang over at Operation Move have decided to kick things up a gear and set February's challenge to be #walk450 which I am definitely going to join. But they are also starting a learn to run group.

I'm intrigued by that because a few years ago I could actually run a little (by little I mean a couple if minutes at 12 kph). I'd love to be able to run again but I'm worried as at the moment I can barely walk faster than 5.5 kph. Internet people, what should I do? I want to be fitter and healthier but I also don't want to set myself up for a fail or even worse - an injury. I’m also concerned that my work hours could do what they did last year and jump from 6 hours a week to about 23.  If that happens during February and I’ve signed up to not only walk 450 minutes but also learn to run on 3 days a week as well, well I may not be able to keep all the balls in the air.

That said, if I’m only trying to walk 450 and not 800 plus realistically it’s still light until 8 so I could walk 2 to 3 days a week and learn to run on 3 other days.  Right?  Or am I insane? Or just overthinking as I do?

Is anyone else planning on learning to run with Operation Move in February?

Op Move #walk400 update

Yesterday was check in day for Operation Move's #walk400. This week I have managed to walk 10.83 km in 148 minutes 25 seconds. So far in January, I have walked for a total 420 minutes 55 sec (total of 30.55 km).

Here's photographic proof from Runkeeper.

This morning I read an article by Kate about habits. I love this:

Image from: OpMove

Apparently it takes 3 weeks to create a habit. It is Day 18 of #walk400 and while I'm not walking every day, I'm trying to not to have too many gaps. I'm wanting this to become part of my new 'normal'. So I'm walking in the evening. I could get up and walk in the morning but I love sleep ins and I may not have time in the morning once I return to work. So in order to make it more likely for my walking to become a habit, I've started as I mean to continue.

My pace had increased on two of my walks but as the weather got hotter this week I haven't done them. What I have noticed is that feel better within myself after a walk. So much so that I did 30 minutes on the treadmill on a 40 degree day (okay it was only 30 or so degrees in the house but I was absolutely drenched) and went walking last night after sunset when it was still 34 degrees.

Today I haven't managed to walk and I've been feeling out of sorts. Of course that could just be the few 39 to 40 degree days that we have had here. Our weather has been less ferocious than Melbourne's or Adelaide's but has been above average here. Tomorrow it is forecast to reach 33 so I'm planning on a long walk to clear my head. And to get further along in my goal to walk between 800 and 1,000 minutes in January.

Wish me luck!

 

Operation Move January 2014

Last year I joined in with Kate and participated in Operation Move. Well, Kate has joined forces with Zoey and together they have created Operation Move community.

 

Now apart from wanting to get fit and healthy, we are attending a wedding at the end of January and after being a lounge lizard since at least July, I'm unsure whether I will fit in the dress that I am planning to wear. So fit, healthy and slimmer was the idea behind my plan had been to walk 7.5 to 8 Km's every day in January. Luckily I woke up to myself, because after not actually doing much walking since August, I decided it was a really dumb and possibly injury causing idea.

Instead, I've signed up over at Op Move and joined the Walk 400 Challenge. The premise is to kickstart January by walking 400 minutes over the course of the month. Now that's more achieveable and much more sensible. I'm using Runkeeper to keep track of my activity. This is what I've done so far:

 

 

 

Of course I need to go in to every entry to see my times but that's okay. So far I have recorded 222 minutes and 32 seconds of walking. That's not a bad start to the month and the Walk 400 challenge. I'm hoping to get more like 1000 minutes but I'd be really happy with 800 minutes.

Grateful 26 May 2013

 

I'm linking up with Maxabella over at Village Voices for this weeks grateful.

Since my last grateful post there have been some ups and downs. But there have been more ups and so I'm going to share those things.

My extended family member's surviving baby was born at 29 weeks. He is a beautiful little boy and doing remarkably well. His feeds are all breast milk and he is breathing on his own. I know that premmies tend to have a two steps forward, one step back trip through NICU so I suspect there will be a few slip ups along the way but at the moment all the news I've heard has been positive.

My friend (who will be known as C) who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer is going okay. She has a date for her surgery booked and has a plan of action. She and her family are kind of in a holding pattern for now but they are thinking positively. I'm sending positive vibes out to them as well.

A few weeks ago Boy Child was elected to the Student Representative Council (SRC) at his school. Because of this, he has been away on a school leadership camp. I'm proud that he has stepped up to a leadership type role at school. I'm grateful that he was happy to go on a camp with a students from other schools and that he made friends. While food can still be an issue for him, while he was away he ate pasta. That makes twice in the last two months after not eating it (and sometimes not even being able to cope with the sight or smell of it) for the last 11 or so years. The day he came home he even ate lasagna. Not only that, he is prepared to have it again as a semi regular thing.

Mr E.'s work dried up about for almost 8 weeks ago. He is a contractor so we do expect these things to happen. We are very lucky that we've had a contingency plan so these weeks havent been a major issue for us. In fact, I probably was good timing as Mr E. has taken up tertiary study and he needed the down time to get into the swing of studying. However, I'm very grateful that he now has work 2 days a week for the next few months.

When the term went back my hours at work had been reduced. Part of it was on my request but it suited the school as well because they are still awaiting (yes still!) points to be allocated for some students I work with. The early finishes have stopped me falling asleep by 7:30 and I'm rarely needing pain relief for my head. It has been wonderful and I'm very grateful to be able to be making a difference without sacrificing quality time with my family.

So that's my list today. What are you grateful for?

 

I've been on a holiday…by myself

For 5 whole nights I slept alone (in a double bed not the single I expected), enjoyed food cooked by others (including a three course dinner every night) and had almost zero responsibility. It was bliss.

The view from my room

This was a holiday that we had talked about me going on about 5 or 6 years ago. But life got in the way and it never eventuated. So for Christmas, my family booked the holiday for me. I was very impressed but I was also apprehensive. Before this holiday I'd had very few nights away from my family. I know I had two nights away in 2009 seeing P!nk. And there were another 2 or 3 nights for my sisters fortieth birthday earlier that year but that's been it. I wasn't sure how we would all go.

I went to a health retreat and it took me almost 24 hours to start to relax and enjoy myself. Of course things tend to not to smoothly so Girl Child not feeling well and having a 39 degree temp the first night I was away was not unexpected. But the following morning she was fine and so I began more comfortable and relax about being away.

I have to admit the whole not having to cook or clean for 5 nights was a huge draw.  They even had Gluten Free food, which I had been a little worried about. I went on a package which included a personal health assessment, as well as sessions with a naturopath, personal trainer and life coach.  For the pampering part of the package I had a body scrub and a massage on different days plus a lymphatic facial (I’m still not sure how it differs from a normal facial but I’ve never had one of those done by a beauty therapist) on the advice of the naturopath.

There were activities on every day and while I didn’t manage to make it to all of them, I did go for an hour walk everyday, plus did some swimming, exercise classes and archery. I managed to read two novels as well. 

The agapanthus hedge I saw on some of my walks

While I really enjoyed my time away, Mr E. got sick during my last full day so I did feel guilty about not cutting my trip short and going home.  Especially when it took 3 phones calls to ensure that Girl Child actually went to bed when Boy Child asked as Mr E. was not feeling very well and had fallen asleep quite early.

Would I do it again?  Yes I think so.  I really loved the relaxation and pampering once I got into it.  It’s not something I would generally do / get done for myself.  I’m really glad that the family did make this a gift. There were a number of people there who had been several times before including one who has been at least once a year for the last few years.  I don’t think that I would want to go that frequently but I definitely enjoyed it.

This is a sick bunny

This was A at 1:08 this afternoon. This was the pic I sent to Mr E. with the tag He looks so sad. I cried and I made an appointment at the vet for him.

 

I'm not one of those ladylike criers. When I cry its messy and my face goes all red and blotchy. Unfortunately it's now more than 90 minutes later and my face is still all blotchy. In fact I'm pretty sure when I go to get Girl Child from school there may be comments about my blotchy mess.

 

On the up side, A did start to show signs of life on the way to the vets. We (well really, just me) will be syringe feeding him for a while. He has barely had anything to eat or drink since yesterday. And for a just 1.2kg animal he really doesn't have much stored to fall back on.

 

I do however suspect him to be like my children. Sick enough to debate taking them to hospital then arriving there only to have them run around in the waiting room, while other people are staring daggers at you wondering why you brought the child in.

 

But faced with the above version of A, I felt I had no choice. Wish me luck with the syringe feeding. If he isn't eating and drinking on his own in a week then we have run out of options.

Stop your whining

I've turned into one of those people. Recently, I've been complaining - a lot. It's annoying to me and those around me. I say "Not now, I'm tired." and "Maybe later, when my head hurts less." Or the one I think I should use more frequently "After I have a nap." Whine, whine, whine.

If we have learnt anything over the last 19 months it is that my head hurts less when I get enough sleep and when I take my migraine med. We also know that stress and lack of sleep can make me a banshee difficult to live with. Thankfully apart from the Easter Weekend I have been feeling quite a bit better than last year.

Dr Jesse was away recently so I saw another doctor at the same practice. He is also good looking but more in a baby faced way. For anonymity we shall refer to him as Dr Chase. Check out the representation below:

Image from: http://www.fox.com/_photos/shows/house/extras/season_7/

Yes, he does look like Dr Jesse. There may be a bit of a family resemblance there. Dr Chase is nice but he delivered some unwelcome news. The migraine med which I have used since mid last year is less available than it has been. Apparently it is highly addictive and the government doesn't want it to be so easy to get anymore. So, despite the Neurologist saying I have to take it and my preventative every day until I have had no pain for 4 to 5 weeks, I have gone from having enough for one a day to only having 8 tablets over 8 weeks.

Because of this, Dr Chase started me on another preventative medication to add to the one I've been on since mid last year. It can take up to 6 weeks to work and I get to take it morning and night. I've also seen Dr Jesse on the meantime and my other preventer medication dose was put up as well.

My night time meds last week (plus some pain relief)

Some days I feel like I rattle. I take 4 tablets to 'prevent' my headache (or in reality just make it less annoying). On good days, the pain is only mild so I only take them and maybe a couple of paracetamol. On other days, if a drink or a shower is too hot or cold then the pain escalates and doesn't subside for long time. I guess that's why I have 4 different pain relievers.

But hey, I'm grateful that there is nothing really wrong with me. I read blogs where other people (or their family and friends) are facing or have faced life threatening illnesses and really, I have nothing to complain about.

I read about Megan (who got sick from the meds helping her fight leukemia and ended up with a liver transplant due to liver failure), Ashlea and her family (her dad donated a kidney to her and ended up in ICU) and Nicola (who is 4 and in pain from cancer). These blogs are mostly happy and upbeat.

I need to take a leaf from their books and stop my whining.

Edited to add:

Nicola got her angel wings on Saturday 27 October 2012. My thoughts go out to her family, friends and everyone touched by her life. R.I.P. Nicola.

 

Grateful 7 July 2012

After joining back in with Maxabella and the Grateful Gang last weekend I found that it wasn't as scary over there as I thought. So I'm playing again.

I'm grateful it that a friends long awaited edition to their family was born this week. The baby was early and is in NICU but as they have waited a long time they are very grateful.

We will be getting a minor kitchen renovation soon. Our oven has been dying for quite a while and the cooktop is dodgy. Recently we bought a dual fuel unit which is going to arrive on Monday and then we can get it installed. Very grateful that we had the money available to buy something we have been talking about for a long time. Is it sad that I'm excited about having a griller again? Our stove / oven will look something like this:

Image from www.smeg. com.au

While I've managed to get the cold that is going around, it hasn't completely knocked me around. I'm grateful that one day after I dropped Girl Child at school I had the opportunity to go back to bed and I slept until 130 pm.

School is on holidays so that means we got school reports. I'm grateful that we got no surprises (although we were pleasantly suprised by the postive nature of some comments) and that academically both kids are where they should be or better.

That's it for now.

This time last year...

We had travelled to an Eisteddfod to see Boy Child perform in a dance troupe. They performed in the open age section and came third out of 13 acts in that section. We were so proud of him. He was only 12 and the youngest in the troupe. He was also the only boy.

The girls he danced with last year have been to the Eistedfodd again. I'm not sure of their results (Highly Commended i think) but I know they had fun.

In September, Boy Child missed the second Eistedfodd he was due to dance in as we were coming home from New Zealand. This time the troupe won and it was without him. There were only 3 acts in that section. Not that it would have made any difference. Boy decided the troupe didn't need him and that seems to have been the beginning of the end. Less than a month later we were told by medical professionals that he had to quit.

The stress of performing teamed with starting High School caused a whole slew of issues. Looking back if I hadn't gotten my headache, things would have been different. I would have noticed that he wasn't coping very well and that he was very worried about me. Well, at least I hope I would have.

So he quit dancing. We bought the end of year dance concert DVD because Girl Child is in it. But my heart hurts when I hear the song that he performed too in the Eistedfodd. It's the first one on the DVD and it makes me feel sad.

Girl Child watched the DVD a few weeks ago. I forgot how much this DVD affects me. I have trouble watching it. It's not the dancing itself but the fact that Boy Child was supposed to be on it and he is not. The first dance of the DVD, the one missing my boy, it makes me cry.

I've had a version of this post sitting around since March. I thought I would post it and then move on from the angsty, whiny stuff I've been writing lately.

Family, responsibility belonging and all that jazz

This post is a bit of an angsty brain dump. Thanks to anyone who actually gets to the end!

Recently, I went to Sydney to see some relatives that I don't see very often, my sister, her husband and children. My immediate family was complicated and I feel like the odd one out, sort of the fifth wheel even in my own family. My sister and I didn't grow up together. I was the only child in my house and she was the youngest child and only girl in her house.

We met at my grandmother's house with my aunt and a few others. All up there were 15 of us - with 8 aged 13 and below. I felt sorry for my nieces meeting up with people who were family by blood but who they had never met. We are very lucky that my sister and her family have been very gracious and are happy to spend time with us. For us it was a big day. We had 12 hours away from home with 7 of that on the road. But it was lovely and we hadn't seen my nieces since 2009. It was great to see them again.

While we were there my aunt and grandmother offered to look after Boy and Girl for a weekend later in the year. I was blown away. I even got tears in my eyes. I cannot remember that offer being made ever before. I'm not sure we will take them up on it, it seems to be an offer based on us possibly going interstate to see my sister for a special occasion later in the year. But if we were going to go, it would tie in with a conference Mr E. goes to. Logistically it would more difficult to get the kids to Sydney, then fly out of Sydney return for me but then back home for Mr E. after the conference.

It has made me wonder why this offer has been made. Why now? Why not earlier in the 5 years since my mother died? They are our closest family members. They have offered something I have been envious of other people for having and I'm not sure what to make of it.

The following day at a small fair Mr E and I got our eyes looked at by a New Agey herbalist guy. It wasn't iridology exactly but to a layperson (me) it seemed similar. You can find a description here. Somehow looking at our eyes gave an insight into our health, our birth order and Family Tree Dynamics.

My eye - the window to my soul?

I wanted to see if a non western medicine practitioner could find any reason for my headache. Apparently my eyes indicate I need some herbal stuff: mostly iris for my headache and some others or other stuff. Hopefully they will help my headache.

But it was the whole family dynamics things that made me unsettled. Apparently my name is strong and is generally given to the first born daughter. I explained that I have no idea what number child I am on one side and on the other I was not the first born, but the first (and only one) in that family. According to New Age Guy, I feel responsibile for things, I worry too much and I need to be careful that I get time out. I need naps sunshine and to spend time being silly, especially with Girl Child. Otherwise, she will become overly responsible as I have become, which was apparently due to me mimicking my mothers behaviour.

But I have tried so hard to not become like my mother. I don't want to damage my children as I was damaged. What if it's just fated that we repeat history? So far, I think we have done okay but one of my greatest fears is screwing up the kids. Damaging them beyond repair. I don't know how to fight that fear. I don't want to be perfect, I just want to be the good enough parent that they deserve.

So, I've been left pondering family (I love them very much) and where I fit in; responsibility and fate. I feel no closer to the answers. I've always felt you can change your fate by the choices you make. What if I'm wrong? What if I never fit in?

These are the things I ponder. I'll let you know if I come up with a resolution or if the headache miraculously improves.

 

Our Easter weekend

The eggs left by the Easter Bunny.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it. Otherwise I hope you are having a good long weekend or whatever you may be celebrating this weekend.

Ours has been fairly low key. We didn't escape our city as most people here do every long weekend, but then we don't often go away. Do other cities have what seems like panic buying at the shops on the day before and after Good Friday? It's a weird phenomenon. Here at least, the shops are only shut on Good Friday itself but some how this translates to a madhouse in the shops on Thursday afternoon and again on Saturday.

On Friday Mr E and I went to get some culture at the Art Gallery. We saw the Renaissance Exhibition. It closes on Monday so it was fairly busy. I often used to go to the art gallery and see the travelling exhibits but once Boy Child was born I stopped. Going back to the gallery is on my Day Zero list. We actually went t the Portrait Gallery afterwards as well. We had been recently but Girl Child was with us so we missed out on seeing the National Photographic Portrait Prize 2012. So we went back to check that out. Surprisingly Mr E and I both choose the same photo for the People's Choice award. It is Peta by Eryca Green and to me, it is very powerful.

Unfortunately all that culture may have been a bit too much for me and I was visited by the headache monster. Now regular readers may remember that I got a headache in March last year which while it hasn't gone away, as long as I take my meds then I'm mostly okay. But not this time. This time, it was bad. By the time I had taken all meds including Panadeine Forte and still could not move my head without pain I went to lie down. The problem was lying down made it worse. While Mr E.was making dinner I had started throwing up and knew things were bad.

My executive decision was to go to the emergency department. We got to the hospital about 7:45 pm. I gave my medical history and in return was given Endone, something like Nurofen and something to stop me throwing up. It appears that 7:45 pm is a good time to arrive as I was triaged, changed into a gorgeous hospital gown and in a bed in less than 30 minutes.

The nice Irish sounding Doctor had two attempts at taking blood and situating a cannula. I have two nice bruises but I got morphine and some weird infusion stuff that is supposedly very good for migraines. I spent most of the night having my temperature and blood pressure taken and dozing. I got sprung about 6:30 am and called Mr E. to pick me up. Note to self: 6:30am is also a good time to visit the local ED.

Yesterday was a pretty much a write off as I was very tired and the head still hasn't gone back to the normal pain level. But last night the Easter Bunny came and we got to eat chocolate for breakfast. Girl Child has had her swimming lesson, Boy Child has a friend with him at the pool and soon we will be leaving. I see another nap in my future.

I hope you are having a nice day, whatever you are doing.

Thankful Thursday, 16 Feb 2012

I figure after last nights post I should join in with Kate for Thankful Thursday. Here we go.  Short and hopefully to the point.

I'm thankful that I have not attended any funerals in quite a while.

I'm thankful that Dr T is back and while not exactly well, is healthy enough to be working a little.

I'm thankful that I have a husband who loves me despite my neuroses. One who will take time off work to sit with me in an appointment just in case I need him.

Finally, I am extremely thankful that my life is considerably less complicated than some other people I have spoken to today.

Thankful Thursday 9 Feb 2012

I’m joining in with Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday. 

 

I am thankful for school starting again!  Yes I am one of those parents who struggles with the Christmas school holidays.  The 6 weeks seems to drag for me. I work at home and my work doesn’t stop during the holidays so I feel like I am constantly saying “I’m working right now and I’ll and see / play with you / feed you soon”.

I am thankful that  Girl Child has gotten ready for school relatively quickly so far and we have been on time for school. It could have been close this morning as she didn't actually get up until 8.20.

I am thankful that Boy Child is doing well and seems to be coping okay even though he doesn't have a single teacher from last year (except for roll group which is 5 minutes every morning).  For a child with Aspergers he is coping with the changes remarkably well.

I am thankful that we are doing fine while Mr E is away in Sydney this week. Last week, the kids and I went to the coast  for 3 days and let’s just say that I was not a very calm mother while we were away.  I was afraid that this week would be similar but it’s going well – so much better than I hoped.

I’m grateful that Dr Jesse gave me a med that helps my head. Due to an issue at the chemist I have been unable to have it for 3 days. While i am much better than last year, I can feel the lack of the migraine med.  Hopefully I will get a new prescription today (it takes 2 days) because I took the last one I had on Monday

I am especially thankful that the volunteer webmaster role that I took on (sort of by accident) is not trying my patience as much.  There is still more work than I expected but I’m coping better with it. 

I think I might be getting my motivation to blog back too! That’s another thing for me to be thankful for.

What are you thankful for? Why not join in over at Kate Says Stuff?

This mothering gig.....

Sometimes it sucks.

I've really been struggling with it lately.  Trying not to make the same mistakes my parents made with me, but making my own along the way. I grew up in a house where one person drank and one person hit so I was determined not to make those mistakes with my children. For the most part we have managed or more likely, just muddled through.

But this holidays I'm not really coping well.  I have yelled a lot more than is normal for me and that makes me feel bad.  Last night I ran away to a friends place just to get away from Girl Child, who insisted on following me around while I was on the phone.  It was just for 90 minutes or so but it was enough to help clear my head.

I probably talk more about Boy Child on here than I do about Girl.  But despite having Aspergers he is the easiest of them both (personality wise anyway).  They are both stubborn, but Girl Child has a lot of attitude to go with it.  She was the child who could throw up on the way to daycare at the same place every single day for weeks, she was the one who told me I'd ruined her life at age 4 when I gave her the wrong bag for her preschool library books.

But over the last few weeks her attitude is doing my head in. Add to that, we have found out she needs fillings (including one in an adult tooth) and on Friday we discovered that she has a lazy eye.  You would have thought that as she has assessed twice last year at the same place and has glasses from there, although by a different optometrist, perhaps it would have been mentioned earlier. At almost eight and a half, she is too old for patching. Boy Child's lazy eye was obvious when he was quite young and he wore an eye patch for maybe nine months when he was about two and a half. Hers isn't obvious to me (Boy's was noticeable early) but apparently she barely uses one eye at all.  She is now also short sighted like me.

For me, though, apart from the dodgy genes she has inherited are the issues she is having with others.
Rarely a shrinking violet, she unfortunately spent most of last year playing with a troubled child which then meant no one else in class would play with her.  Once the other child left near the end of term 3, she had no one.  While she did make one good friend (L) she was held on to tightly and clashed with another child in her class (Z) over L.  Now Z and Girl are going to be in the same class for the third year in a row, unfortunately they clash big time. L is going to be in a different class to them which is probably good for L and may help Girl even though she is devastated.

Form L's parents, I have heard on a few occasions about things Girl Child has done that have worried L. In fact they are all in a kids computer site like Club Penguin and I have been spoken to twice by L's parents about things that Girl Child has said there.  The first time she admitted what had been done and apologised to L.  

On Friday night I was contacted by L's parents with a copy of a message that Girl Child apparently left on the website.  The message itself was concerning as it talking about attacking Z when school starts. Girl Child  swears that she wasn't online the day the message was sent and that she didn't send that message. In fact when I read the message to her and got her to write it down the spelling of certain words was different. Add that to the fact that she had given her password out to a number of people and that she vehemently denied writing it and cried for almost 30 minutes, we don't know what happened. We can't prove or disprove it. So I have changed her password and she can only go on to that website while an adult is sitting with her. Normally someone would be in the same room as her but now we will be watching a lot more closely.

On another note, she will be in Year 3 this year and school hasn't started.  Girl Child is already worried about NAPLAN (Australia wide academic tests for children in Years 3, 5, 7 and 9). I wonder if that plus knowing L is in a different class but she will be with Z,  is adding to her attitude?

So there you'll have it.  My beautiful daughter and her very minor medical issues plus her very strong personality had this week culminated to dent what little faith I had in myself as a good (or even just a good enough) parent this week.  Tomorrow is a new day, right?

I'm grateful 3 December 2011

Today I'm grateful for a few things.I'm really grateful that Nano is finished because it seemed to take up a lot of my thought process etc even if I wasn't writing.

While I was doing Nano, I had my procrastination going in full gear. I am grateful that I managed to clean out and tidy up the plastic cupboard and I also spent some time cleaning out the linen cupboard. As a result of these things I now have 3 bags of things to donate. Pity that my procrastination hasn't helped me actually get these things donated as yet.

I am grateful that Dance is over for the year. Girl Child loved her ballet costume and she had lots of fun. I am extremely grateful that our dance studio graciously accepted that Boy Child would no longer be dancing (on medical advice) with 7 weeks left of the year which included 4 performances at community events and the 3 concerts.

I am grateful that my children caught up with friends today and had lots of fun. I am very grateful that I get on with the parents of both children so I got to enjoy myself as well.

I'm grateful for the medical profession who have diagnosed and treated members of the extended family with various potentially life challenging illnesses or diseases with the last month or so. This has been a bit of a wake up call for me and I am very grateful that the health issues I have are minor in the scheme of things.

What things are you grateful for today? Link up with Maxabella loves.

Expecting a bang but getting a whimper

November was going to be a big month here in our house. We have Girl Child's dance concert - had been Boy Childs too, until things got very messy about 8 weeks ago. Three shows held over two days, with a dress rehearsal and a stage rehearsal leading up to them. Then there was my long awaited MRI and finally the appointment that Boy Child had which got bumped from February to November after Dr Jesse rang and asked the specialist to actually read the referral.Then I signed up for NaNoWriMo. So November was panning out to be huge.Surprisingly, though if you don't count the bedtime head lice discovery and removal earlier this week, it's all be quite calm. A bit of an anticlimax, really. Of course we still have the dance concerts to do but even trial make up this year went much more smoothly than previously.I have written over 32,000 words on a something that could either be loosely termed a novel or 'word vomit'. I got my MRI and have a CD to prove that I have a brain. Unfortunately for me the slight brain bleed I was hoping for did not eventuate. Although, Dr Jesse did say my idea of just going in and whacking a clip on a tiny bleeding vessel or whatever was a bit too simplistic. I still have to see the Neurologist again just before Christmas but really part from having a brain there were no big flashing lights showing. Dammit!Boy Child had his appointment which went so exceeding well that he doesn't need medication or to see the specialist again. For which I am very grateful. And it was very nice to actually be able to be with Boy Child while he talked to someone about this stuff. Things were actually explained clearly. $400 or so for peace of mind was totally worth it.So the big things that I expected to end with a bang? Well, they really just wandered past with a whimper. Let's hope dance and NaNo do too. Write 3,000 words a day for the next six days, I can do that!Just let me have a nap first, okay?

Grumble Sunday 6 Nov 2011

Today I'm joining up with Madam Bipolar for Grumble Sunday.

Now I actually just feel a bit blurgh today so I thought this might cover it.

Today I'm grumbling about a few things so in no particular order they are:

Signing up for up for NaNoWriMo with no ideas. I had no characters and no plot just had a very general theme. I have become a compulsive word count checker and am behind my target of writing 1667 words per day. Apparently my average is about 1052 words per day which means I need to get a move on.

I forgot the date of a very important and long awaited appointment. It was in my calendar onto correct date but for some reason I thought it was the following week. Luckily they rang to confirm.

Health issues for family members - some major, some minor.

People who never answer their phones and when you do leave the number you have called from they don't bother to return those calls either.

Other people who are too busy being selfish to see what effect it has on the people around them.

Girl Child wanting to wear makeup for the pretend concerts she performs every day.

The grass that won't stop growing and me being too tired or busy or lazy to actually get it mown. Actually it's all three depending on the day.

Now I have unburdened myself I feel a bit better now. Do you have anything you want to grumble about today?

World Mental Health Week 2011

I missed doing anything for RUOK day as I was away and operating on limited bandwidth.  So I thought I would do a post on Mental Health Week.  World Mental Health Day is held every year on 10 October.  This year Mental Health week started 9 October and runs until tomorrow.  Here is the description from the Australian World Mental Health Week site.

Mental Health Week is all about raising awareness of mental health and wellbeing in the wider community. A critical part of reducing stigma and supporting those with a mental illness and their carers is education.

This awareness and understanding can come from many sources. Throughout Mental Health Week local and regional events are organised by many different communities, not-for-profit organisations, individuals and workplaces. These events, coupled with the information available in the web links, serve to generate discussion about mental health and get people sharing and talking about this important issue.

I will say that I am disappointed with the lack of information on Mental Health at this website. The links they have are for lots of different sites but I could not easily find information about mental health itself. If you do want information, I’d suggest going straight to www.sane.org or the Mental Illness Foundation of Australia.

The Flannel Flower – Australia’s Symbol for Mental Health Awareness From the MCHA site

Some of the blogs I read have done posts for it so I thought I would add those links for your perusal.
Adalita mentions it in her Friday Fitness post.
Pysch Babbler talks about it over at Over Cups of Coffee.
Katrina who is The Organised Housewife even has a giveaway running to coincide with it.
Suzi over at Under the Windmills didn’t post about Mental Health Week itself, but this post shows a positive experience in a Mental Health Unit.
The rest of this post is probably going to be Too Much Info.  It’s because I think Mental Health is very important.  So, after a few deep breaths here we go.
I grew up in a house where one parent drank and one parent had mental health issues.  I’m not sure if Parent 2’s alcoholism was to cope with Parent 1’s mental health issues or not.  It could have been. I remember Parent 1 had depression on a number occasions.  But having discussed my childhood with a few professionals it seems highly likely that Parent 1 had Borderline Personality Disorder. Probably with depression and anxiety as well.
So, where did that leave me?  I grew up as an only child.  Most of Parent 1’s anger etc. was taken out on me.  I grew up with a fear of hands around my neck, issues with kitchen knives and a huge aversion to being called Bitch and being touched. Sometimes I still flinch when people yell near or at me.
I have a propensity for depression.  I am very aware of my issues and try to stop them affecting my family in particular and my life in general. I don’t want my issues affecting my children.  I don’t want to perpetuate the cycle.
Sometimes though, I wonder what I would have been like as a person if I didn't feel that I had to be careful about everything I said or did. 

I blame the Smurfs!

I've been thinking. I'm pretty sure the reason for my need to escape the family last night was not, solely, related to the lack on alcohol in my life. I'm thinking it was related to the Smurf Movie. Yes, I blame those little blue people. Or however that songs goes. And the sugary sweetness that was Smurf movie. La,la, lala, la, la, la da, la, sing a happy song. Or however it goes.

Image from http://www.smurfhappens.com/

After we saw it, I'm not sure how many times Girl Child asked me what was my favourite line of the movie. Apparently hers is when Neil Patrick Harris' character says "I Smurf you." Now I enjoyed the movie and it was a feel good one. There were lots of life lessons - nobody is just one of their characteristics, you need to seize life's opportunities and things like that. Definitely good lessons for us all.

My life has been decidedly unsmurfy lately. It hasn't been bad, no major illnesses or injuries, thankfully no deaths or job losses, just not great. A few (in my head A LOT) of niggly worries. Some of course, of my own making.

Having been away for a few days, we were spending time with my extended family. This always leads me to introspection. Especially when I get comments like "So and So says you are much more open than you were before your mother died." Now that comment was from my grandmother, apparently repeating something else someone had said to her. It's great to get compliments (well that's how I'm taking that anyway) but I always find it tough. I'm glad I'm on better terms with my family now. It's a pity that it took what it took for those relationships to become better. But I'm lucky that I have had the opportunity to change them. To take them to a much more open, friendlier level. But I do still dwell on the past and the things that can't be changed now. I know I wouldn't be me if things had been different, but still the what ifs run through my head.

History however has a way of repeating itself and this is where I come back to the Smurfs. When I was probably a bit older than Girl Child, my grandmother took me to see a movie about little blue people. It was the Smurfs and the Magic Flute. So it seems somewhat fitting that I took Girl Child to a Smurf movie the day after leaving my grandmothers. I'm glad that most of the parallels I see between my life and Girl Childs life are the positive ones.

Having spent time with my grandmother, I'm torn between being grateful that I still have her and worried about how old and frail she is getting. It seems that every time we stay with her she gets sick. Thankfully this time around was what seems to be a virus and she has now recovered. On a previous occasion she ended up in hospital with renal failure. Again I see parallels. This time between visiting my grandmother and visiting my great grandmother. I was 18 when my great grandmother died so I have quite a few memories of her. After this visit I wonder how much longer my grandmother will be around. I hope that my children will get some more time to spend with her, while she is relatively healthy.

Okay, turning off the melancholy now. What things have you done recently that have reminded you of your childhood? in a good way, of course. Now I'm off to bed. I just hope that the Smurf song stops running through my head soon. Ear worm, anyone?