World Mental Health Week 2011

I missed doing anything for RUOK day as I was away and operating on limited bandwidth.  So I thought I would do a post on Mental Health Week.  World Mental Health Day is held every year on 10 October.  This year Mental Health week started 9 October and runs until tomorrow.  Here is the description from the Australian World Mental Health Week site.

Mental Health Week is all about raising awareness of mental health and wellbeing in the wider community. A critical part of reducing stigma and supporting those with a mental illness and their carers is education.

This awareness and understanding can come from many sources. Throughout Mental Health Week local and regional events are organised by many different communities, not-for-profit organisations, individuals and workplaces. These events, coupled with the information available in the web links, serve to generate discussion about mental health and get people sharing and talking about this important issue.

I will say that I am disappointed with the lack of information on Mental Health at this website. The links they have are for lots of different sites but I could not easily find information about mental health itself. If you do want information, I’d suggest going straight to www.sane.org or the Mental Illness Foundation of Australia.

The Flannel Flower – Australia’s Symbol for Mental Health Awareness From the MCHA site

Some of the blogs I read have done posts for it so I thought I would add those links for your perusal.
Adalita mentions it in her Friday Fitness post.
Pysch Babbler talks about it over at Over Cups of Coffee.
Katrina who is The Organised Housewife even has a giveaway running to coincide with it.
Suzi over at Under the Windmills didn’t post about Mental Health Week itself, but this post shows a positive experience in a Mental Health Unit.
The rest of this post is probably going to be Too Much Info.  It’s because I think Mental Health is very important.  So, after a few deep breaths here we go.
I grew up in a house where one parent drank and one parent had mental health issues.  I’m not sure if Parent 2’s alcoholism was to cope with Parent 1’s mental health issues or not.  It could have been. I remember Parent 1 had depression on a number occasions.  But having discussed my childhood with a few professionals it seems highly likely that Parent 1 had Borderline Personality Disorder. Probably with depression and anxiety as well.
So, where did that leave me?  I grew up as an only child.  Most of Parent 1’s anger etc. was taken out on me.  I grew up with a fear of hands around my neck, issues with kitchen knives and a huge aversion to being called Bitch and being touched. Sometimes I still flinch when people yell near or at me.
I have a propensity for depression.  I am very aware of my issues and try to stop them affecting my family in particular and my life in general. I don’t want my issues affecting my children.  I don’t want to perpetuate the cycle.
Sometimes though, I wonder what I would have been like as a person if I didn't feel that I had to be careful about everything I said or did. 

I blame the Smurfs!

I've been thinking. I'm pretty sure the reason for my need to escape the family last night was not, solely, related to the lack on alcohol in my life. I'm thinking it was related to the Smurf Movie. Yes, I blame those little blue people. Or however that songs goes. And the sugary sweetness that was Smurf movie. La,la, lala, la, la, la da, la, sing a happy song. Or however it goes.

Image from http://www.smurfhappens.com/

After we saw it, I'm not sure how many times Girl Child asked me what was my favourite line of the movie. Apparently hers is when Neil Patrick Harris' character says "I Smurf you." Now I enjoyed the movie and it was a feel good one. There were lots of life lessons - nobody is just one of their characteristics, you need to seize life's opportunities and things like that. Definitely good lessons for us all.

My life has been decidedly unsmurfy lately. It hasn't been bad, no major illnesses or injuries, thankfully no deaths or job losses, just not great. A few (in my head A LOT) of niggly worries. Some of course, of my own making.

Having been away for a few days, we were spending time with my extended family. This always leads me to introspection. Especially when I get comments like "So and So says you are much more open than you were before your mother died." Now that comment was from my grandmother, apparently repeating something else someone had said to her. It's great to get compliments (well that's how I'm taking that anyway) but I always find it tough. I'm glad I'm on better terms with my family now. It's a pity that it took what it took for those relationships to become better. But I'm lucky that I have had the opportunity to change them. To take them to a much more open, friendlier level. But I do still dwell on the past and the things that can't be changed now. I know I wouldn't be me if things had been different, but still the what ifs run through my head.

History however has a way of repeating itself and this is where I come back to the Smurfs. When I was probably a bit older than Girl Child, my grandmother took me to see a movie about little blue people. It was the Smurfs and the Magic Flute. So it seems somewhat fitting that I took Girl Child to a Smurf movie the day after leaving my grandmothers. I'm glad that most of the parallels I see between my life and Girl Childs life are the positive ones.

Having spent time with my grandmother, I'm torn between being grateful that I still have her and worried about how old and frail she is getting. It seems that every time we stay with her she gets sick. Thankfully this time around was what seems to be a virus and she has now recovered. On a previous occasion she ended up in hospital with renal failure. Again I see parallels. This time between visiting my grandmother and visiting my great grandmother. I was 18 when my great grandmother died so I have quite a few memories of her. After this visit I wonder how much longer my grandmother will be around. I hope that my children will get some more time to spend with her, while she is relatively healthy.

Okay, turning off the melancholy now. What things have you done recently that have reminded you of your childhood? in a good way, of course. Now I'm off to bed. I just hope that the Smurf song stops running through my head soon. Ear worm, anyone?

I'm hiding in my bedroom

Is it wrong to want to get away from your family? For some reason today my tolerance level is low and I had to leave before I said something I'd regret (or even worse NOT regret) to my children. Things along the lines of Just bloody leave me alone.

So with Mr E. going out shortly, I'm hiding. I'm not sure what's going on in my head. Part of it is having been interstate visiting relatives. Now while it is nice to catch up, to me it's a bit like having to be on your best behavior 24/7 and not being able to relax. Especially when you are staying with some of those relatives.

That said, the kids were pretty damn good and I was even told how impressed one elderly relative was that they didn't fight during the 4 days. Maybe that's what's going on. They were on their best behaviour too. Now we are home it's time to relax and let it all hang out. Thus, the little niggling things seem so much worse than normal. Because I've been without them and we are slightly on edge.

Does that happen to anyone else? Good behavior while away but then needing to let it all hang out once home? I must admit I repeated parts of conversations verbatim to Mr E. last night just to get some of the stuff out of my head. Maybe that's what the kids are doing too, in their own way.

Hopefully with a good sleep tonight I'll feel better and I'll be better to put the little things in perspective. Otherwise, I think I'll take up alcohol.

Glug, glug, glug. Ahhh.

Cheers!

Versatile Blogger Award

A long time ago, during my blog-vacation, just prior to my real vacation in New Zealand, the lovely Lene who blogs quiet aptly and adeptly at Musings of Another Mother passed the Versatile Blogger award over to me.

Of course, as always accepting one of these awards there are certain things you have to do. So, these are the 3 (thank goodness there are only 3!) things to do.
Firstly, you must thank the blogger who awarded you and link back to them. So just in case you missed it, many thanks to Lene.
Then you should share 7 interesting facts about yourself.
Finally you need to pass the award on to 15 newly discovered blogs.
Given I don't think I'm interesting, I will do my best with the 7 things. Feel free to consider them interesting, boring or just plain crazy.

1. I don't mind shaving my head for the Leukemia Foundation, but I hate regrowing my hair. I look too much like my mother from the time my hair is about an inch long until it gets some decent length on it. This means that some of the photos from our holiday make me cringe.
2. I've recently discovered I don't mind reading an ebook or two. Ebook's have a few advantages over real books. They are much easier to carry than real books and therefore it's easier to start a new one or swap as the mood takes you but they have reduced my ability to relax. You see, I used to relax by reading in the bath. However, I have been known to drop a book or two into the water and with an ebook reader or IPad that is a really bad idea. So, maybe this explains why I'm not very relaxed at the moment.
3. Today I went on a Ferris Wheel with Girl Child. I generally start to feel ill just watching one go around so I was very surprised that I didn't feel extremely nauseous today. However, I really did wish I had both feet on the ground. I think the people in the gondola with us would have preferred their ride more if Girl Child hadn't kept commenting on my possible need to throw up.
4. Today, I was extremely envious of all the extended families out and about doing school holiday things. I find it heartbreaking that my children have no grandparents who are alive or able to do things with them.
5. I am also very envious of my friends who can send their children for a few days (to a more than week) each school holidays to spend time with their extended family. I know 3 families who do this.
6. Since I no longer want chocolate I have discovered that I want other junk food. For example, Cheezels and shortbread but not together. I still eat chocolate occasionally but I don't crave it anymore.
7. After watching Hawaii Five-0 last night, I'm thinking that Alex O'Loughlin could be in the running (with Hugh Jackman) as someone I'd love to spend some time with. With Mr E.'s permission, of course.

Phew. I didn't think I'd actually get 7 things there for a while.

Okay, in my newer blog finds to pass this on to are some who were given this award by Lene and others but I thought they deserved to get it again. And just to share the bloggy love around, here are also some bloggers who I think deserve a little extra bloggy love at the moment.

My list is:
Sarah from People Don't Eat Enough Fudge (I love that blog title),
Gill from Ink, Paper, Pen
Gnomeangel,
Naomi from Seven Cherubs,
Suzi over at Under the Windmills,
Anne from Domesblissity (I made her muffins on Tuesday),
Miss Pink - the Mummy Autobiography,
Sam-O who is Living Life Playing the Glad Game
Jen from Jemikaan,
Penny with another cool blog title - Shhh, Mummy's on the phone (who hasn't said this?)
Alliecat who blogs at In a Beautiful Pea Green Boat,
Corrine - From the daze of my life,
Silver threads of happiness,
The Rhythm Method,
Farmers Wifey

I hope you like getting awards and know how much I appreciate you reading all!

I'm tired

I would have thought that after an almost 3 hour sleep this morning, I'd not be feeling so tired. But in fact, I almost fell asleep again this evening while Mr E. cooked dinner. And this has me a little worried. I'm taking a lot of medications at the moment to help with the head. Are they what's making me so tired, is it the having the headache / migraine or is it something else?

I hate being this tired but most of all I hate my intolerance of the little things. I've felt this way before. Like I want to go to bed, pull the covers over my head and wake up in a month or maybe even next year.

Why am I feeling this way? I've just had a great, albeit, tiring holiday with the family. I have pretty good kids, a decent, flexible job and a husband who cooks dinner when I'm really tired. Oh, he loves me, too. Can't beat that, really.

Why do I feel that the world is going to cave in? Is it the fact that despite taking the 24 hour med, the 12 hour med and panadeine forte that my head is still aching? Is it that school holidays are about to start and I will have to juggle work with the family's needs? Is it that the events previously labelled 'unlikely to be psychosis' have occurred again and seem to stronger than before?

Maybe it one or more of those things. Maybe it's just that I'm a glass half empty kind of girl. Whatever it is, I hope it goes away soon. After all, my life is pretty good most of the time.