tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7867081262675426242.post4091072842948376297..comments2023-09-06T21:14:55.006+10:00Comments on Whining at the World: Friendship (and associated issues)E.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04660326954591560370noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7867081262675426242.post-88295950100553979242012-06-05T18:30:23.459+10:002012-06-05T18:30:23.459+10:00It really sounds like I have the same Girl Child a...It really sounds like I have the same Girl Child as you!<br /><br />Mine has just got into trouble at school for lashing out at another girl - unfortunately the same one she lashed out at twice last year and again the year before(the last time being August). <br /><br />I apologised to the parents about it as I don't raise my child to hit others. The school has been wonderful about it. They have accepted it is in retaliation and frustration - she isn't instigating the behaviour - but they also think she is old enough to walk away. Trouble is sometimes she she reaches the tipping point where it is too late to walk away and the instinct takes over. <br /><br />She has walked away so many times - I am sure yours has too, but is always remembered for those times where she has gone past the tipping point and made a bad choice.<br /><br />I think we have all taken our eyes off the ball as we haven't seen an incident for 10 months!<br /><br />Time to move back into pro-active management mode!!<br /><br />What we did: <br />Playdates with girls we felt would be a good fit based on teacher feedback - aim to try and expand her social circle so she has more choice of who to play with.<br />When the yard duty teacher changes over at lunchtime - ask if she wants to come inside and read a book for half of lunch time - sometimes recharging away from all the noise and having some quiet time is just whats needed.<br />Monitoring interactions with the girl involved (actually found that they were inseperable 90% of the time and had an equal friendship).<br /><br />Hopefully it's all sorted for you for the moment - I found a few weeks before end of term is the explosive week where they could actually do with a few lunchtimes indoors recharging away from other kids.<br /><br />I also found (and be wary of this) that some of the teachers reporting that other kids would try and wind mine up on purpose to get a reaction and so she would get into trouble. They were quick to stamp out those incidents they saw - but that is likely only 10% of what actually happens!!<br /><br />Good luck!!kimmyjnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7867081262675426242.post-24535755087339925492012-03-28T14:34:00.634+11:002012-03-28T14:34:00.634+11:00Hey Marita, I'm sorry that you are in the sam...Hey Marita, I'm sorry that you are in the same place as us. It really sucks. Hopefully things will pick up for all of us (especially for our girls).<br /><br />Maxabella, thanks for your wise words. I discovered today that our school is a Kids Matter school so will be following up on that.<br /><br />Leanne - Yes, we do! I think that would be a great idea.<br /><br />Things have settled down now. I'm not sure she is playing with anyone but there have been no issues either. I have set up a play date for during the holidays so I'm hoping that might help too.E.https://www.blogger.com/profile/04660326954591560370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7867081262675426242.post-90724970388950123402012-03-25T08:28:38.942+11:002012-03-25T08:28:38.942+11:00You and I do well over a cuppa. Perhaps the girls ...You and I do well over a cuppa. Perhaps the girls need to get outside their normal play zone and spend time away from same-old-same-old. Maybe take them for a "cuppa" (hot chocolate) and sit at a nearby table. Let them bond over a hot beverage. <br /><br />I dunno ...Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00886017636780724635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7867081262675426242.post-21685364055446802272012-03-15T20:21:54.583+11:002012-03-15T20:21:54.583+11:00I am also at a loss to explain the dynamics of fri...I am also at a loss to explain the dynamics of friendship, for that would require understanding human nature and I don't know why people do the things they do! I'm sorry your daughter is struggling to find her tribe. I do think we all have times in our life when we are overwhelmed by how to fit in. <br /><br />My only advice would be to help her learn alternative ways to deal with frustration and to let her know that EVERYONE has times in their life when they feel the same way. Emphasise that she has lots of people who love her and want to be with her.<br /><br />At our school we have felt that there is way too much emphasis on 'anti-bullying' and not enough on 'how to be a goof friend'. Perhaps your school is similar?<br /><br />I wish her friendship and understanding. xMaxabellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15761220164069379437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7867081262675426242.post-66938746254178042742012-03-13T20:07:28.040+11:002012-03-13T20:07:28.040+11:00Wow your post mimics almost exactly what is happen...Wow your post mimics almost exactly what is happening with my 8yo daughter who is in grade 3 this year.<br /><br />She is so desperately lonely at the moment and doesn't understand that others don't like being told how to play. Although she herself hates to be told what to do.<br /><br />We had a meeting with her teacher and the school principal and the yard duty teachers are keeping a log of her playground interactions for the next two weeks so we can get a real idea of who she is playing with. Benefits of a small school with only 140 kids.<br /><br />From there we are going on to invite the children she plays with regularly over for playdates.Maritahttp://www.stuffwiththing.comnoreply@blogger.com